Touch of Innocence

21

"Do you want to talk about something?" Clay asked, glancing up at her from his computer screen.

She'd been sitting opposite of him in front of his desk for the last few minutes.

"Kind of," she replied. She'd wandered down to his office to talk to him, but she'd been too anxious to bring it up.

He shut the top of his laptop and leaned forward in his chair, waiting to see what she had to say.

"I wanted to talk about college." She'd started twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

"Okay."

She sighed, not knowing how to start. "I just... how do you feel about me going away?"

"It's not about how I feel."

She sighed again, frustrated. "It is though. I know that you don't want me to leave. I know that."

"That's true. Of course I don't want you to leave, but that's not my decision to make."

"I wish you would make that decision."

"Why's that?"

"Because, when I leave for college, leaving you is going to hurt so much. I don't know if I can do it. I want you to tell me to stay."

The corners of his mouth tugged up a bit. "If you want to go to Earlington, you can go Hadley. It's a good school and has a great agriculture program."

"But I'll miss you. I've never been without you." Her hands started to clam up as she thought about leaving him. She hadn't slept in her own bed in so long. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to stay at a college three hours away for four years. The longest she'd been apart from Clay was just a few days anytime he'd go on work trips.

"I know. It'll be hard for me too."

"I feel like you're not as upset about this as I am," she said, crossing her arms.

Clay stood up from his chair and walked to the front of his desk where he stood in front of his mate.

"The thought of you leaving burns a hole in my heart. I don't want you to go. The next four years will be a living hell without you and I don't know how I'll manage. But I'm not going to persuade you to stay here and go to a college close to home. You deserve to go to a school that will best serve you."

"I wish Earlington was closer," she said, her voice laced with sadness.

"Me too. But even if I ran to get you, it would be an hour or so each way." Clay wouldn't be able to give up four hours of his day transporting her to and from college.

She shook her head. "I don't want to think about it anymore." Thinking of leaving him was too much to handle. College wasn't for another eight months, they still had time.

Clay played with her hair in an attempt to help soothe her. He knew how much she liked that. 

"We will see each other on weekends and any days you have off," he promised, trying to make the situation sound better for the both of them.

She nodded and leaned forward to rest her head on his hip.

"Don't be sad," he said as his hands ran through her hair to help her relax.