ch 22:I found my reason!!And thats you!!

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       I've always loved being alone not because I distance myself from everybody but it's the other way round.But now,I've got you and there is a fear that arises inside  for every single second,the fear of being alone.And you are the reason,I've got to know about the  emotions and feelings.
   From the time since I knew,I don't talk much to anybody because I  was happy alone.But now I have you,so I'm a little afraid to be left alone.
   I always stretched my hands in the empty air,waiting for someone to hold it but now,now,now,I've found someone with whom my soul is intertwined.

   

         The sun has just risen,the diffuse fog has gradually subsided.The birds were using the leaves as headcaps to escape the dewdrops and the cold weather while the big grasshoppers jumped as the butterflies flapped the water off their wings.The trees and plants lowered their heads and accepted the morning light softly as the birds residing in them went on to wake up the world with their beautiful melodies.I was so happy;If Shane went back to his house,he'll start coming to school too!I think Shane will be good at school,he looks so studious,sort of like a person who loves studies and philosophy.And I'm so damn sure that all the girls in the class will simp over him.
   He would have gotten home by now,won't he?Oh jeez!I forgot this totally!He was in that lonely world for all these months and he disappeared after a day or two when they moved to Joscon.Will he know the route to his house? Will he recognise his family?Oh!What if he was waiting for me infront of my house?
   I quickly got up from my bed and ran outside to look if he was there or not.
"Thank god! ",I sighed in relief.
  I was in the state of confusion the whole day.What if that didn't work and he's still stuck in my dreams ?
  I made sure to visit Shawn at his house today.So,I will get to know about the  situation there.
   But I was scared to go visit him.What if Shane tells him everything?!That he knows me and that we visit each other often!He must've have said everything by now.Oh no!He wouldn't do that.
   The one good thing that I did is whenever I talked to Shane,I mentioned Shawn as the 'real-life you',meanwhile I've not talken to Shawn so much about Shane but still I don't think I've ever mentioned his name.So,there's no chance Shane would know that Shawn was my friend.
  But if I go visit him,he would definitely identify me.What if he tells about us,about how we used to see each other everynight,about that strange place!!Oh my!won't I get into trouble?
    What will I do now?
I breathed in and out to calm myself.
I took out the diary and opened it and read through the pages.

Dear Shane,
       Hope you've reached home safely.I can't wait to see you.I'm so excited!When will you  come see me?Ah!It really kills to wait for someone you love never knowing when you're gonna meet them.I call you my moon,but I don't have to wait for  nights to see you anymore.Is this how the world waits for the sun to go down,so that it can hold the moon's hand for a while?
       I love to write about you.I want to keep writing about you and I hope that it will always be a present tense!I want you to be with me always.
    'Cause you're like an echo in my life,no matter what I try I'll keep hearing you.So lets make it a beautiful song together!
                                        Yours lovingly,
                                                 Jade 
     I closed the diary and placed it inside the desk drawer,carefully.I sat on my bed worried.I was confused whether I have to go see him or not!
     But I couldn't wait,so I got myself ready and decided to go visit him.I was not completely ready to meet the consequences but I wanted to see him,badly.I wanted to know if he was safe.
   I wore a knee length frock with a red headscarf and added a beaded hat and a blue mask.I could sense it that it was weird as everyone who passed by me kept staring at me,some even laughed.But I thought no one will be able to recognise me if I wear weird something like this!

   I was lingering around his house for a while but his house was locked for a long time.I wonder what happened.I tried calling Shawn,but he didn't pick my calls!It was strange,he has never rejected my calls.
   I started to feel the fear racing inside my nervous system.
   Did Shane tell everything that happened?Have they gone to my house in search of me?
   I felt a sudden adrenaline rush,I was so scared that I started to look for a restroom nearby.
     Has Shane safely gone back to his house?
    I thought it would be best for me to return home.The sun wasn't helping me at all.He seemed to be so angry that he was burning hot with all his might.I was sweating hard!
     But the houses on the side of the road block part of the sunlight spilling on to the road,there will always be a short period of shadow on the road then there will be sunlight again,and then there will be shadows again.
   I wore my sunglasses and slowly walked past his house .The instant I crossed his house,I started running,running so fast because I was so scared.I held my pendant tightly as I kept running,the frock flying up in the wind and with the hat that has fallen out of my head to the side of my shoulder.I think the sun loves me so much that he's trying to melt me with his hotness!
    I'm sorry sun,I've already promised my moon that I will be there to cherish him forever!I'm sorry.
    

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           IN MY DREAMS (a short poetry from Jade to Shane)

  Oh baby,how can you survive long in my dreams,
Won't the nightmares there make you scream!
When will my dreams come true?
I really don't know what to do,
I don't have any clue.

I just wanna bring you back to life,
And want to be with you always
Dreams can disappear any time,
So promise me that you'll stay.
I want you to be safe in there,
'Cause my dreams are a freakin' nightmare!!

                                         ~Jade Willows

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