Your Distance

69 - Growth . 1

Back at the hotel, after washing away the sand on his body, Ting Shuang started packing up his luggage.

“You can take the luggage home. I’m fine with bringing just my mobile, wallet and ID card.” Ting Shuang looked around the room, “And the charger.”

“I’ll go with you.” Bai Changyi said, “I’ll pack everything up.”

Ting Shuang stood dazed for a while before saying, “Oh…”

Ever since returning from the beach, his reactions had been a little slow.

His phone screen displayed a message from Zhu Wenjia explaining the situation: I also only found out after returning to China.

Ting Shuang sat on the ground and looked at the screen for a long time before typing out one sentence: If anything else happens at any time, tell me.

Then he deleted it after typing it, and changed it to: Wait for me to come back.

After sending the message, he opened the browser and searched: Cerebral hemorrhage.

Countless words flooded his eyes in no particular order: mortality rate of acute diseases, high blood pressure, smoking, emotional agitation, residual effects, sudden onset, death.

“Ready to go.” Bai Changyi stretched his hand out in front of Ting Shuang.

“… Mm.” Ting Shuang gave his hand to Bai Changyi, letting him pull him up.

Time passed painfully slowly on the way to the airport.

Waiting for the flight was also difficult.

Ting Shuang wanted to smoke a cigarette, but he held back when he thought of what he’d seen when he was searching about cerebral hemorrhage.

“I regret now.” He suddenly said to Bai Changyi.

Bai Changyi didn’t speak, waiting for him to continue.

“I suddenly remembered a lot of things from the past.” Ting Shuang looked down at the ground between his feet, “I regret going abroad to study. I shouldn’t have been mad at him.”

After saying those few sentences, he remained quiet for a while. Bai Changyi kept listening, saying nothing.

“I’ll go to the bathroom.” Ting Shuang said.

He was gone for a long time, and when he came back he was carrying a paper bag in his hand.

“I bought a pair of shoes.” He forced himself to smile at Bai Changyi, a tinge of hope in his eyes, as if his life was hanging on this question, “Do you think he can wear this?”

Bai Changyi looked at him, “Yes, of course.”

“My ass.” Ting Shuang threw the bag onto the ground, “I don’t even know what his shoe size is. I call him only once a year, so why the hell am I feeling bad now? It’s no wonder no one told me when something happened to him.”

He burst into a rant, not even knowing whether he was complaining about himself or about others. After he had calmed down, he no longer had any anger to cover his vulnerability  up with. He rested his head on Bai Changyi’s shoulder and softly apologised.

Bai Changyi touched his head, “Go eat something.”

Ting Shuang shook his head.

He had no appetite.

During the eleven hours he spent on the plane, he hardly ate anything, and kept looking at the darkness outside the window because he couldn’t sleep, until the sun rose from the east, then  to somewhere too high up for him to see.