24 - Desire

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Sweat trickles down my chest, warning my body to give itself a break

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Sweat trickles down my chest, warning my body to give itself a break. I stumble backwards, leaning my back onto the wall.

My knuckles are bruised from all the punching I've been doing to this bright red punching bag. Im sweating like crazy, emotional as hell, and horny as shit.

Valentina did too much to my dick.

Bianca did too much to my heart.

I did too much to my fists.

Rough breaths leave my lips as I prop my elbows on both knees and place my palms on top of each other. My head flies back and rests on the wall.

I'm horrible. I'm a monster. My sister, baby sister, is going through shit, and here I am drooling over someone I'm supposed to hate. This isn't fair for her. Not at all.

She needs support, like Valentina said. What if I'm not enough for her? What if she needs more than I can give? The thoughts aren't stopping, sending me into a deep, dark train of memories.

Never being enough for my father. Always disappointing him, one way or another. He's never been easy to please, so I never knew why I kept trying. Seeking proudness has always been something plastered in my brain, always.

It's like the situation with my father all over again. Hes asking for more than I can give. And I'm willing to give my all, even if it means ruining myself in the process.

It doesn't matter what happens to me, as long as my baby sister is okay. Always.

The basement door flies open, making me turn my head to the door so quick, I may have gotten a slight whiplash. My eyebrow raises at the man standing before me. Tears are welling his eyes, and he's more vulnerable than ever.

"Romano." I whisper, watching him break into sobs. God, this family is aching with drama. How many people cried today? Twice, and it hasn't even been an hour since I've woken up.

"I didn't mean to yell at her. I- I was so angry that she didn't tell me how she's been struggling. Why couldn't she trust me?" He wipes his tears and falls onto the floor beside me.

He's biting his lip in order not to break any more tears, but as an older brother, it's my job comfort him as he's breaking apart.

"Cry it all out. It's not your fault, Romano. She's your older sister, of course she'd keep it a secret from you. We both want nothing but for you not to worry. Your birthday is in a couple weeks for fucks sakes." My hand falls onto his back and I pat it softly.

"I thought you forgot." he looks up at me, tears welling in his eyes. "How could I? Listen, Bianca is going to be okay. She's a strong, independent and fearless woman. Don't worry about her, okay?" I drop my chin to the top of his head and close my eyes.

"Tell me about it. She slapped Noah across the face for yelling at her when she was trying to explain why she was crying. He raised his voice slightly and she just smacked him across the cheek. Fuck, she scares me sometimes." Romano laughs slightly, causing me to jerk back and stare at him.

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