𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐒 - yuzuru hanyu.

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: right time

Your meet-up with Haruto is quite... awkward, to say the least. Maybe it's the little quip he responded with when you asked him if it was a date or not that made things sort of spiral.

You head home, not being able to think of anything other than his words. Only if you'd like it to be.

Now with confirmation that Haruto definitely has some sort of feelings for you, you're not quite sure what to do. Things seemed awkward, seemed tense - maybe it was just you not knowing what to say.

Haruto wanted to keep the conversation going, but with the way that you were mumbling and just nodding your head instead, there were just too many awkward silences.

It's unusual for you too - you're usually very capable of being able to hold a conversation, even with the quietest of people. It's easy for you to make friends as well, but why is it different with Haruto?

You arrive home with questions left unanswered running through your mind, and when you open the door, you see Yuzuru stretching in front of the television.

He turns to look at you, and he immediately smiles. "Hi, how was your meet-up with Haruto?"

"It was... okay. Slightly awkward. Actually, very."

Yuzuru raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he nods his head, motioning for you to continue speaking.

"I asked him if it was a date, right? And he responded by saying 'only if you want it to be'. I didn't really know what to say after that."

Yuzuru feels his blood boiling after hearing what Haruto had said to you. He can feel the ugly green monster creeping up again, and he tells it to stop. He's been feeling jealous too many times lately.

"You not knowing what to say? That doesn't sound a lot like you," he quips, choosing to somewhat ignore what Haruto had said in an attempt to mask his feelings on the matter.

"I know," you chuckle. "It just... felt so strange? Like, I've only known him for a couple of weeks - of course, I'm flattered to have made such an impression on him but... I don't know."

"You don't know what? You don't know how you feel about him liking you?" Yuzuru questions, and you purse your lips.

"Yeah. That, and... I don't know why it seemed so hard for me to hold a conversation from then on. It's usually so easy for me - and you know this, Yuzu." you sigh, and Yuzuru presses his lips together in a thin line as he thinks of what to say.

"I think... you were caught off guard." he says carefully. "Truthfully, it is a pretty straightforward way of him telling you that he's interested - and with the added fact that you didn't realise that he might be perceiving it as a date until I told you, it probably just... stunned you a bit more than usual."

You laugh, your eyes crinkling into crescents as you do so. "You know me too well. Maybe too well to the point where I didn't even realise that I was feeling that way."

"We've been friends for years. Of course I know you, (Name)." Yuzuru chuckles, and you prop your bag on the table before heading to the couch. You flop down onto it with a small giggle, and Yuzuru sits down next to you.

"Am I a bad person for thinking it's a bit strange how he likes me even though we haven't talked much?" you ask him, turning to face him.

Yuzuru shrugs. "No. But maybe you've caught his eye for a while. To be fair, he has been skating at the rink for a bit."

"You're right." you murmur, and Yuzuru nods, a cat-like grin making its way onto his lips. "I always am."

"You and your cocky behaviour. Save that for when you win gold at Pyeongchang, okay?" you tease, eliciting a giggle from Yuzuru.

"Okay, that aside - but do you feel the same way?As Haruto does for you?" Yuzuru asks, biting on the inside of his cheek.

You seem to ponder the question for a moment.

"I don't think so."

Yuzuru mentally cheers.

But then he comes to a realisation. What if your answer could change? What if you end up catching feelings?

He wished he could go back to five seconds ago where he never came up with the thought that there's a possibility that you could start liking Haruto.

He has to remind himself: who is he to tell you who to catch feelings for? He may be your best friend, but ultimately - he has no say; the heart wants what it wants.

If it's not him that your heart wants... what really can he do about it?

And that's what pains him the most.

He can't do anything.

He offers you a small smile, and shrugs. "I think... you'll figure it out."

You give him a smile in return. "Yeah. I think so too."

Truthfully, you think you already have.

You don't want to hurt Haruto, but the truth is that you don't think you'll ever reciprocate the feelings that he holds for you.

Because you think you've finally come to terms with the fact that you just can't stop pushing your feelings for Yuzuru away anymore.

You have to stop telling your heart to stop pounding against your chest whenever he smiles at you. You have to stop suppressing those feelings - because honestly, whenever you think that you've managed to do it, those feelings just come back even stronger than before whenever he does anything that makes your heart race.

How are you supposed to tell him? He's preparing for the biggest competition in the world, training to win that second Olympic gold medal - you don't want to get in the way of that.

Is there any right time, to confess to Yuzuru Hanyu?

In your experience of being best friends with him for over a decade, there really isn't. With competition after competition, he really doesn't have time. If he's not thinking about training, he's probably training.

You soon realise the only time that he has where he isn't really thinking about practicing is when you two go to the bakery together, or when he's focused on his games.

But honestly? He could still be thinking about skating as he taps away on his Nintendo Switch.

You sigh, glancing at Yuzuru to admire his features. The small moles on the side of his cheek, his eyes that hold a galaxy of stars in them - he's absolutely beautiful.

You'll wait for the right time, you tell yourself.

If there even is one.