Gutsy: A John Bender (Breakfast Club) Story

Boundaries

The rest of the evening didn't turn out to be nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. John can charm just as well as aggravate. My parents were pretty surprised to find me home with a guy, but John won them over in about five minutes. Frankly, I was a little jealous. They practically cooed over him which was unusual for them. I'd told them a little bit about John Bender and I think they felt sorry for him and were pleased to find that he was uber bright.

John and my dad got to laughing telling awful dad jokes that were borderline raunchy the way my dad and Hank do when Hank is home. I think my dad saw a lot of my brother Hank in John. I know I sure did. Maybe that's part of what attracted me to John. He and Hank had a lot of similarities. Nobody could tell them what to do and they were both tough as nails. I could see Hank turning out a lot like John if he had been born into a crappy family instead of a loving one like ours.

My parents liked him so much that invited him over for dinner on Friday night. The look John shot me when they said this was pure triumph. My mom must have somehow figured out that he didn't eat super well at home, because she sent him home with TWO containers full of the end of the mac and cheese. John left around eight, smirking at me as he said goodnight.

When he left my parents practically pounced on me, wanting to know whether or not I liked John. I'm pretty open with my parents so without giving too many details I said that, yes, I liked him and he liked me. I haven't dated much in the past so I wasn't sure what they would think, but they were very positive. First they warned me to be careful, because John obviously had a lot of baggage, but then they said that since we were both young John had plenty time and chances to mature and change. Along this vein my parents also warned that John would probably be difficult to handle at times if we decided to date. They encouraged me to keep my strong boundaries with him as that would help keep our relationship from turning sour.

My dad even told me that most father's would be pretty worried if their daughters brought home the school hoodlum, but most hoods don't have any potential. John has potential. With some hard work he could turn out to be somebody.

I was super pleased when my dad told me this. He could see John the way I did. A work in progress that could really go places someday. I knew John had a lot of maturing to do. Even though he was willing to sacrifice himself when no one else would, he also could be verbally abusive and cruel. That wouldn't go away overnight. He had already admitted to me that he knew he would break my heart sooner or later, but just the fact he would acknowledge his behavior was a big step. I knew I would have to make sure I kept my emotions from carrying me away and stay logical when I was with John or our relationship would be over.

Personally, I think the reason Claire went back to ignoring all of us was because of emotions. She couldn't handle being possibly ostracized from her friends and spending time with John, emotions wise, is like trying to pet a very grumpy porcupine. An occupation far too difficult for most people.

At school the next morning I found my boundaries and emotions put to the test. I knew that John wasn't exactly a gentleman. But as I began to feel more drawn to him it was going to be tougher to put aside the things that irritated me about him. John met me in the parking lot as had become our routine. He seemed genuinely happy which brought a smile to my face.

Walking toward the school John slung his arm around me. We were laughing about the night before with my parents, when I realized that he was feeling me up. Hot rage ran through me and I instantly elbowed John in the ribs and pulled away from him. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him he was an idiot to try a stunt like that with me, but I didn't.

Instead, composing myself I settled for a glare. John had his usual smirk plastered on that only made me angrier. Looking him in the eye, I said, "Don't ever do that again to me, or anyone else without permission. As of this moment I won't speak to you until the end of the day when classes are over."

John laughed at me, "Yeah right, you can't ignore me."

I sighed, pushing down my anger and turned away from him walking off. John knew I meant it, he just didn't like it. Besides I never said I would ignore him, just that I wasn't speaking to him.

John swore loudly and caught up to me, "Are you really not going to speak to me?"

I hoisted my backpack higher onto my shoulders and gave him a 'duh' look as I opened the door to the school.

John was really upset now. He cussed again and called me a rude name. I let him rant and kept silent. Remembering what my parents had said about keeping boundaries was going to be the only way that I could even think about dating John Bender. I'd already done a pretty good job of that but John would push and test me at every turn.

Yelling and ranting at me, John was causing a scene in the hallway. People gave us a wide berth, but I still waved and said "hi" to some of them, only making John more irate. Finally, getting to my locker I opened it up and moved books from my backpack to the shelf as I prepared for my first class. John was still with me looming over me like an angry shadow. When I had gotten all my things arranged from my locker and was ready to close it, he slammed it shut for me.

His face was a hard mask as he stood in front of me blocking my path, "You're serious about this aren't you?" he said.

I nodded in response, the closest I would come to saying anything. Blowing out a huge breath, John's shoulders slumped and he seemed to shrink into himself as his anger drained away to be replaced with sadness. I could see the pain in his eyes so I patted him on the arm, steeled my nerves and walked around him.

To not be on speaking terms with John made the day super awkward! I told Allison about what had happened and what I was doing and she gave me her full support. It felt good to hear her encouragement.

John still kept me company during our normal periods of the school day that we would spend time together. But after his initial outburst, he too kept quiet. He didn't even sass the teachers which was unusual for him.

When the bell rang for the end of the school day I felt a huge sense of relief. I could talk to John again! I decided to not bring up anything that had happened and simply move on from it. He had done something stupid, I'd called him on it, given a consequence and now it was over....but of course that was not what John had in mind.

I found him sitting on my car and joked, "I might have to install a chair there just for you."

I smiled at him. He shot me a small smile back, "I'm sorry. I deserved today."

My mind swirled deciding how to answer. "I forgive you." I said going for simple.

"Why didn't you get angry with me?" John asked searching my face intently.

Internally I shouted, 'I was angry!' but I answered, "Not everything warrants staying angry, or even getting angry."

John leaned back and crossed his arms. His brow was furrowed and confusion danced in his eyes, "I don't understand you." He said shaking his head and blowing his hair out of his eyes.

His words tore at my heart. Of course, forgiveness would be foreign to him. Everyone else said, "$*&% You," and left it at that.

"How about we work on it?" I asked, "Don't take that as an excuse to tease me though."

John hopped off the car and said, "Can I hold you?"

In response I walked into his arms and laid my head on his chest. He held me tightly and I could feel his heart racing with nerves. "You drive me crazy, but I can't seem to drive you away. Why is that?"

"Because I want to stay," I answered.