The Untold Truth ✓

Chapter Ten | Jolly Blue

A R E S | N I C O L A I D E S 

"You cannot just spring it up on me like that." She says, folding the clothes after taking it out of the dryer. "One minute you're telling me about what your mother has done and next minute this happens." Alexandra has a weird tendency to start cleaning or doing laundry when she is stressed.

"I know princess." I was leaning against the counter of the laundry room.

"No Ares, you don't. I won't go alone."

"I am right here." I try to persuade her.

"I will only go if Aunt Coraline comes as well."

"The whole family is coming, and if you want, I'll book Aunt Coraline a ticket too." She settles down, shoving the things to the side before sighing gently.

"What about what they've done to you?" I cage her in against the counter, my hands pressing against the edges. She begins playing with my dress shirt buttons, her soft hands gliding down.

"I am not thinking about my mother, I am thinking about my younger sister Angelos. I am only going for her."

I could understand what was going through her mind right now, my past.

As much as I hate them, they have turned into nightmares.

These terrible memories are similar to nightmares. They evaporate when I'm awake, when I'm truly there in the moment with you. They have no choice but to depart once I truly open my eyes and let in all the amazing things around me.

If a negative memory is like a bird, it's okay to know it's on a nearby branch. It is okay to notice it fly and sing. However, move calmly, looking just at the natural world around you, with skin that feels the wind and eyes that are open to the light.

The bird will be gone when your mind naturally returns to the present moment, the gift of life.

"I do not have summer clothes." She presses her forehead against my chest, I chuckle brushing her hair back.

"We'll buy you some tomorrow after our appointment."

"I'm going to spending a lot of your money...on baby clothes."

"Angelos, we have a cupboard filled with baby clothes." 

"No but this is a new baby,"

"Whatever you want."

🦋🦋🦋

I've almost drowned in both water and air; it's the same if your lungs can't take in oxygen. People have a strange and morbid tendency of romanticising various sorts of dying. It's all bad. It hurts. There are very few alternatives.

The end is the end, the last word on the last page, but the beauty is the story that came before. In the movies, drowning is loud and splashy; someone cries and waves their arms, they fall beneath the waves and emerge in dramatic way, and people on shore try to save them.

Drowning is peaceful, their movements are delicate, and they make very little noise. I've held my breath in a pool before, but this isn't the same.

It's as if I had a pistol to my head and was commanded not to let my heart pulse. Of course, it will. And, like the heart, my lungs will inhale whether it's air or briny water.

I've held my breath in a pool before, but this isn't the same. It's as if I had a pistol to my head and was commanded not to let my heart pulse. Of course, it will. And, like the heart, my lungs will inhale whether it's air or briny water.

I pull myself up to shore the instant I felt like I was about to pass out, push my hair back, and wipe the water from my face.

When I look up, Alex is strolling down from the beach house, wearing a black sundress. Fuck. I tower above her as she walks into the sea. She smiles against me, her hands grazing my chest, and i grab the back of her neck before tenderly kissing her lips.