Song: I'll Be Gentle - Paloma Faith
She was busying herself with a shit ton of rope, all her climbing gear, buckles and weird clips, something with a handle on it. I know my way around a farm and give me a combine I could take it apart and put it back together again. But those bits and pieces quite literally held my life, this was stupid why did I follow her up here?!
"Doing ok back there princess?"
"Fine, yeah absolutely fine." Shrugging my shoulders not tense at all, this is fine. She's an expert.
"It sounds like you're freaking out."
"I'm not freaking out!" I'm freaking out.
"You're freaking out."
"Look climbing up, swinging across I think I'm good with, it's the getting back down bit that is er... unnerving."
"You're scared shitless aren't you?"
"Yes. Yes ok forgive me if I made it this far without dying only to be killed by a fucking tree."
"Technically it would be the ground that you would splat on."
"Not helping!"
She huffed and stood up from her spaghetti mess of ropes and made her way over to me, I was sunk into the bean bag strangling a cushion to death.
"Listen Henry I wouldn't set you up to fall, if I wanted you dead I'd do it with much less mess. Plus you'd be a big give away to the tree house so very inconvenient for me." Her threats were actually helping, I could breathe properly.
"I swear you tell me not to look down I'll loose it." She doesn't look impressed.
"Now stand up."
"So pushy."
Her hands moved far too quickly for me to keep up with, the knots she was making would but a boy scout to shame. Throwing the rope between my legs she got fairly comfortable in close quarters, those tiny hands felt their way around as if I was getting measured for a new suit. She was making quick work of a harness, ok a harness. Yes, that's sensible.
"Now girly I know our usual foreplay gets heated but I had no idea you were this-" She yanked up on the remaining rope taking my crown jewels with it.
"Kinky?"
"Something like that." Eyes watering, voice a few octaves higher I managed to croak out the words.
"Oh baby, you have no idea." So pleased with herself she leaned in, still literally holding a choke hold on my balls. My blood was rushing for a whole other reason now, how did this tiny thing make me this worked up. That fucking smirk might as well have been a slap to the face, she's more than a handful.
***
We were almost ready to go over the edge, abseil down the trunk, then hike to the river when the breeze moved in. Sniffing the air I didn't need to even check the canopy when a crack of thunder ripped through the sky. Dropping my shoulders and rope, the forest was really testing me right now.
"You're like being around a dog."
"That's what every girl dreams to hear, thank you."
"No I mean it's like you have super senses. Like a gun dog."
"The fleas are a pain but it's easy once you know how."
"It's creepy you alert to sounds when I hear nothing."
"You're deaf and dumb if you missed that one."
"No obviously I heard the thunder but why are we giving up on going down?"
I'd already unclipped his makeshift harness and started packing away the rope before the rain comes. He hadn't shut up for a while now his incessant questions were draining and honestly he's probably the worst survivalist I've ever met. He was now stood a little unsettled hands on hips in his bright yellow hard helmet... I thought would make him feel better, it was obnoxiously... cute.
"There's a storm rolling in and by the sounds of that thunder, it's not far off."
"So? A little rain never hurt anybody?"
"Henry. We need to get down a few hundred feet with a complete newbie who is terrified of heights, we then have to conceal our gear, hike a few miles to the river under torrential rain fall without getting lost in low visibility. Oh rainfall which by the way when it hits the forest sounds like a full orchestra taking away another warning system for us. But don't worry our shouting over the noise and wading through mud won't alert any of the psycho killer dogs to where we are. Oooo how about we leave a perfect footprint trail for our new hunter mystery man?"
Henry seems to have the picture but I'm far too tired, dirty, and all out of patience right now to stop my rant.
"We then wash up in an already freezing river which by then should have a lovely rushing current if not bursting its banks. You know a jacuzzi bath if you will. And lord knows we won't be able to dry off so those plums of yours IF they survived the decent, they now have to chafe their sorry selves back to the 'Tinkerbell Tree'."
Yep that image got a wince. Henrys eyes never left mine I was running out of steam this outburst felt good. Stop listening and fight back.
"So by sheer miracle if we haven't been eaten by rotters or hunters we have to scale our way back up with zero grip, slippy footholds, soggy equipment and a really fucking annoying Henry crying about how his testicles have had a bad day out." I was out of breath but the sound of booming thunder made for a dramatic scene.
"Do they get kissed better or is it an unhappy ending for all?"
"Really motherfucker?"
"Tink! You can't say those naughty words!" His face was failing at hiding a smile, small snorts escaped him.
"Do you ever take anything seriously?!"
"Do you ever relax?"
"Not exactly a camping holiday up here buddy."
"Oooft 'buddy' I must be in trouble."
"You're so annoying."
"And you're adorable when you're angry."
"Call me adorable again and you'll loose something attached to you."
"You're fond of my balls tonight, they've been through enough."
I gathered my towel and wash stuff, huffing making my annoyance clear. Soaps and beauty stuff went out of the window the first week out in the new world. As much as I loved my coconut shampoo and tropical scrubs they're a massive target on your back, a pick me badge to anything with a nose and an appetite.
Herbs like mint, rosemary, lavender and little bits of the pine sap were the only natural scents you could really get away with out here.
"What are we doing now then?"
"I'm going to take advantage of mother natures shower. I suggest you do the same... you stink."
"Charming! Well do you have any soap for me in that basket?"
I chucked a bushel of mint his way, he caught it with a smug look.
"Lead the way short stuff."
YOU ARE READING
Evergreen
Adventure"It wasn't long now, time had ceased to exist. The world had become impoverished, crops have shrivelled to dust, wildlife slowly died out. There were only survivors now; groups of warriors scavenged to stay alive." My name isn't important, my stor...
