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  "Please don't speak like this, Dad," I wept. "You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine..." I turned around, trying to make out where the motherfucker Jamal had gone off to. "WHERE'S THE FUCKING DOCTOR?!" I roared desperately. "HURRY THE FUCK UP!"

"Let me die, Luca..." Dad whispered shakily. "Let me die. My time was coming a long time ago, anyway. I've overstayed my welcome in this world. I-"

"NO DAD!" I bellowed. "I need you. The family needs you. We're nothing without you. Don't speak like this. Don't you fucking dare speak like this!"

I continued to pump his chest desperately, desperately doing my best to keep him breathing before the doctors arrived.

Pump. Pump. Pump.

"It's okay, Luca..." Dad swallowed. "I was a dead man walking for a long time. My life was at the bottom of an alcohol bottle. I haven't been right ever since Violetta died..."

"No Dad, you have so much left to live for," I sobbed. "We all need you. I can't lose both of you. I can't live without both my mum and my dad..."

"Let me go, Luca..." Dad continued to weaken underneath my strong gasp, his voice getting quieter and quieter, to the point it was barely above a whisper. "It's okay. I can hear her... I can hear her voice. Her beautiful, sweet voice. I missed her so much. My love. Violetta..."

I continued to sob, screaming and screaming for the doctor to come, but I couldn't hear a single noise. Time stood still. It felt like I'd been waiting for an eternity.

I could feel my heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces as my father continued to call out to my dead mother to be reunited with her. He'd given up. Given up on me, given up on the Cosa Nostra. And for the first time in my life, even though my father was dying in my arms...

Was the first time I saw hope in his eyes. The love and hope he had for my mother, to be reunited with her in the afterlife.

"I l – love you, Luca. I know you'll carry on my l – legacy. I know you'll do me p – proud..." Dad whispered, his eyes glistening with tears. "Don't let the others g – get to you. You've worked s – so hard. You've done so much f – for m – me..."

"Please, Dad. Please don't do this," I wept, screaming bloody murder. Screaming until I was blue in the face, screaming until my throat went dry. Screaming until I had nothing left inside of me.

"I'm coming, Violetta..." Dad breathed.

And those were the last words he said before his head lulled backwards, and he stopped breathing.

Drowning in his own pool of blood.

Leaving me dithering here.

Hating myself.

Despising myself.

Wishing that it was me in his place.

Knowing that this was all my fucking fault.

My father's blood was on my hands.

It might have been an accident...

But I still pulled the fucking trigger.

I still pulled the damn trigger. I would never forgive myself for this.

Never.

It wasn't just my father that died today.

I died too.

I died inside.

He took the last piece of my soul with him as he died.


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