I Wish [ManxMan]🦂

STEVE~11

The streets are the same but yet changed. There are many new shops open now. Many different buildings. It makes the town lively, yet it is still the same as how I left it.

I walk slowly. Trying to capture everything that’s new. Trying to delete all that’s old. It's hard. But I keep walking. I smile when I see a dinner. It's still the same as I remember it. And beside it, is a library, a place where I loved going just to read with that pastor's son. How is Malik anyway? Is he still in this town? I believe he must have grown up about now.

I pass a building then I come to a stop. My heart is racing. My body is reacting. It’s the house where everything started. And everything ended. I  take a breath and watch it clearly. What about this house that I liked back then?

I always envied it. Wished to be inside until I was. Then I got greedy and went inside another house. Another body. another boy.

At the time, I was reckless. In love with the idea of being with another boy. Of holding another boy who is just like me. I should have known better.

It's like walking in a memory. A time where my heart was full of having new feelings. New experience. When that boy came to me and said he likes me and kissed me. For a moment I felt like I was flying in the air. 

Until I landed on explosive volcano.

“What are you doing here?” a voice asks. A voice that had stayed in my mind for so long. A voice that I once prayed for it to be  my salvation, but it became my doom. A voice that has been my nightmare until I learned how to fight it. Control it. And forget it.

Now that voice calls my name. “Stephen.” The mayor says. And I hear it. It's not the same. It's gruffy. Older. And it follows with a little cough at the end. 

I turn to see the man with that voice and my heart did something. This was the man that I feared once upon a time. Then I hated him. Then I wanted to kill him and his whole family for revenge. Then slowly I learned to forgive him even when he never asked me too.

He looks different. Just like all the people in this town. He is older. His head is bold. His body bent making him look shorter to me. He still carries that dreadly look in his eyes, but I don’t want to see beyond.

I have done enough. 

“Mr. mayor.” I say. A smile on my face. I don’t know why I found myself smiling but I am. And it's genuine. Almost a  chuckle. “ Long time no see.”

“its good to see you, son,” 

"Don’t call me that.”

“Okay,” he says. He doesn’t fight me. If it were ten years ago, he would have fought back. Throw words at me for being disrespectful to him. To the elders who raised me like my own parents.

He looks at me. I look back at him. No one says a thing. Minutes pass and we just stood there. Silently watching each other. I have thought of this moment. Of what I would do when I saw the man who broke my dreams and wrongly sent me to prison just for messing with his son. 

I would have killed him. 

But not now.

Now I feel like time has killed him. Guilty has swallowed him whole.

“Welcome home.” He says then walks back inside. 

I close my eyes and found myself asking him a  stupid question. “ aren’t you going to the wedding?” because he seems relaxed. Casual

He stops in his tracks. Take  a breath like it takes all of him to answer that question. And without answering it, he went inside.

Well, welcome home Steve.