I Wish [ManxMan]🦂

DRAY~25

A week later.

I have been to this house before as Carter friend but never did I enter this room. It's like it never existed until now. 

Until this moment.

Everything looks old yet very clean. Like someone has been living here. Someone has been cleaning this room every day.

My eyes scan where Steve is. He seems lost in time. I can't blame him, this feels like a time capsule. 

This man has so many emotions in his eyes. In his body language.

I take a  deep breath and leave the room. He needs a moment.  Even though I know that, I  don't  go too far, just a few feets away from him. I seem not able to leave him alone. I don't know why.

It's too quiet. Until I hear something. 

"Dad."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"What about you? Were you sleeping?"

"I was about to. What? Are you scared of sleeping alone?"

"I am not a child." 

A beat of silence between them. 

"Dad." Steve called. "Dad." He called again. "I am sorry."

"What are you sorry about?"

"Just everything. I am sorry about everything. I am sorry for making you worry. For disappointing you. For humiliating you. I am sorry for getting into trouble when you told me not to. I am also sorry I was rude to you. When I was a kid, I complained that your food was edible  and didn't eat it. I am sorry."

"Oh quit that shit you silly boy. I am more sorry. I am sorry I didn't fight harder for your freedom. And I feel bad that I had no choice but to move on with life like nothing ever happened. But what i am more sorry about, is the fact that i am not a very capable father to you."

"That's not true dad."

"Still I am sorry. I wanted to apologize to you for so long. I felt bad and useless the whole time you were not by my side."

"don't say that. I am the one who should apologize. I'm really sorry dad." Steve says. This time i could hear his cry. Even if he is trying to swallow it.

"You should get to bed. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight dad."

I could see tears in his fathers eyes when he stepped out. He didn't hide it. He let them fall and went straight to hug his wife. 

Carter just sighed and walked back to his room. 

I count to ten. Take a deep breath and walk into Steve 's old room. 

He is sitting on the bed. His head down. He must have heard me come in. He raised his head and the moment I saw his eyes, I ran to him and embraced him.

Its okay to cry. I want to tell him that but I can't. He must have cried a lot.

So I hold him. Like he held me the first time he saw me.

I hold him tighter with everything I have got. His big muscled body almost crushing me.

But it's more what's inside that is heavier. And I want to take all the pain away.

"I am not crashing you am i?" He jokes

"Not a chance." I kiss his forehead and hold him tighter. "Not even a little bit."

He chuckles.

I do too. 

"Come here." He says, taking me in his arms instead. His warmth engulfed me. And once again I feel at peace.

It. Is. Okay.