I Wish [ManxMan]🦂

STEVE~14

Dray asked to see my favourite places of my town when I was growing up. I know he is trying to make me smile. Make me forget.

He makes me forget 

I take him to this place. My old high school. At the football field. My dream.

All I ever wanted was to play ball. But also have good grades. I was a nerd yes but a cool nerd you might say. 

It hasn't change much. Everything looks the same. 

"I can totally picture you playing here." Dray says. "And I believe you looked hotter than the captain of the team." He winks at me.

I laugh. "I was the captain of the team."

His eyes go wide. Not believing my words. But he surprise me when he starts jumping up and down sreaming, "everyone, I am dating the caption of the team. Woooow."

"Hey, sheesh." I tell him. I can't stop laughing myself.

As a teenage, I wanted this kind of love. Fun. Happy. And just leaving our lives freely. But it's okay, because I have this kind of love right now.

I believe in love. I believe in this boy that looks at me like I own the world.

I have opened up to him. Knocking down my own walls just to let him in. unsure I could trust him, not anymore.

“We are odds,  aren’t we.” He says.

“How is that?”

“Ever since we met, we have shown each other our ugly sides. The parts that take some couples years, we laid them bare in a matter of hours.”

“In case you didn’t get the memo, I have lost ten years. So why should I lose more years just to be discreet?”

“Are you saying you are an open book?”

“Try me.”

“Have you ever wanted to kill them all? These people.”

“Yes. Many times.” His eyes go deep. He stops in his tracks. I can see the tables are turning in his head. I laugh. 

“The first year I slept in those cells, all I did was come up with a plan of killing and destroying each and every one of them. One by one. I thought. I planned. I saw everything clearly. It's What kept me going in the first few years. Then, I got tired. In the process, I met people. People like me who did nothing wrong but were thrown in there too. But the strange part is, they were okay. Happy. Like they accepted reality. I sat down with them, ask them how they did that. They taught me. Then I met people who did wrong too. Some with a  reason, some with no reason at all. They also taught me the same thing. Over and over again, I learned.”

“what did you learn?”

“life is not fair. It will never be fair. But that doesn’t mean we can't live our lives as decent people. Healing one day at a time. Appreciating one day at a time. They taught me, I could have revenge, but I will get the same results. And most of them were results of vengeance. And most of them weren’t happy. I wanted to be happy. Despite everything, I wanted to live as a human being. fulfill my dreams.

The one who sought vengeance taught me how to forgive. The ones with no reasons, taught me to live my life the way I wanted. And the ones like me, who were wrongly accused, taught me to be patient. To appreciate a different scenery and choose little moments to be happy about. But all of them dreamt of the same thing. Finding love. Finding a family. Someone, anyone who will stand  by them. Someone who won't see them as criminals but human beings. someone who will love them like their first time. Every day they dreamt. Painting pictures as we work. Coming up with stories and dreams of what that kind of life looks like. At first it seems like a delusion. Then it was fun doing it."