football imagines

s. gnabry

inspired by giveon's 'for tonight'.

the night had fallen over the city of munich, darkness creeping out of every corner and onto the wide streets. the only source of light was the moon and the stars that were illuminating the sky, twinkling down on its houses as a reminder for the residents that it was time for bed. it was unusually quiet, most people long gone and hidden in the comfort of their own homes. though, at the end of the street, on the third floor of an apartment complex, if you looked closely there was still a small gleam of light. 

the late-night silence was disrupted by whispered affirmations, low groans and the rustling of white bedding. wandering hands tracing along the dips and mounds of exposed skin, hectic kisses shared with no intention to stop anytime soon. it was a moment filled with intimacy and vulnerability, shared between two souls that were always drawn to each other no matter the circumstances.

although, life had different plans for you two – your relationship breaking apart almost three months ago, because neither one of you had enough time for the other. there was never any bad blood between you. it just hadn't worked out with both of your schedules packed, so in the end you had decided to end it to avoid more damage. however, it didn't seem like either serge or you could really move on.

his apartment, the place, where you stayed almost every night since the breakup, was filled with memories. the pictures hung up on the wall were still the same or your clothes hanging in his closet were painful reminders of something that once existed. however, it also seemed like neither one of you wanted to let go of that. despite the few dates you had attended in the last few weeks it were always the two of you, who ended in the same bed together at night. there was always some excuse that you would come up with why you couldn't go on a second date. even though, deep down you knew the real reason for it was the man beside you.

it seemed so easy, yet the two of you stayed silent about whatever it was that was going on. everyone could tell that you were still holding so much love for each other, simply by the way you were talking about them or the smile on your faces, when someone dropped their name. your behavior was so obvious, though, when someone asked you about it neither one of the two of you wanted to speak about your relationship.

to put it simple you were scared, what would happen afterwards. what consequences it would bring, if one of you spoke up about the issue. the pain and anxiety brought up because of your breakup still ran deep and made you hesitant. you were scared of rejection and the loss that would come with it. because if you were honest about your emotions and serge didn't feel the same this wouldn't work anymore and you simply couldn't lose him. even if that meant your relationship was nothing more than shared intimate moments and whispered promises that were too hasty to keep.

but you both knew that. it brought you solace in moments like these. nights that the two of you shared together, because the silence, which had filled your apartments for the last few months was painfully pushing down on your chests. it was a quietness that both of you knew could only be replaced by the presence of the other.

it was a thin line between toxicity on one side and happiness on the other and neither one of you could stop balancing. you knew better than to do this, because in the end all that there was going to be left was pain. but at the same time your heart couldn't let go. it held onto something that you knew was still there yet it was kept unsaid. so instead of touching on that topic the both of you swept it under the rug and indulged in the shared moments. because, even though life seemingly had different plans for you two, you still found back to each other. and that was all that mattered at the end of the day, the love serge and you held for each other.