football imagines

r. leão

it was a mistake coming back after all those months. you knew that the moment you had stepped into the stadium. it felt weird being here after everything that had happened, yet deep down you knew it was the right thing to do. despite your head telling you not to go, you followed your heart, which had led you to where you were right now: back in the giuseppe meazza stadium.

even though, it had been so long since your last visit, the atmosphere was still the same. the stands were almost completely filled with fans of both milan and lecce, trying to outdo the other with their loud chanting. you had been one of the last to enter the arena, squeezing your way through the stands to get to your seat – just like you had always done. it felt like you had traveled back in time to a life, where rafael and you were still together and there was no struggle too big for you to overcome. the only difference to then was that the love you had once held for each other was only one-sided nowadays.

while your ex-boyfriend didn't seem too fazed by your breakup – at least that was, what you had caught onto – you still struggled up to this day. hence, why you had chosen to go to the stadium today. although, your family and friends had told you to come back home after the breakup. after all there was nothing holding you back in milan, yet you just couldn't let go so easily. if you moved back all of your hopes that this situation could be fixed again would be crushed. even if there was only a tiny chance you didn't nor couldn't let go of it.

maybe you were acting delusional and the pain brought up by the breakup played with your mind, but deep down it felt right to go to the stadium today. you had always enjoyed cheering for rafael and his teammates, inevitably becoming a huge ac milan fan. while you had always worn one of his shirts you had chosen a plain jersey today. it felt wrong wearing his name and number on your back, knowing you two weren't together anymore.

as the game kicked off you tried your hardest to keep your eyes away from milan's number 17, though, that was easier said than done. after all, rafael was one of the most important players for the team, trying to create chances and dribbling through lecce's defenders with ease. despite seeing his abilities on multiple occasions, you were still amazed by everything he did. however, today you tried to push this feeling away. you knew, if you let yourself feel too much it would only cause more heartbreak and you didn't want to go through all of that yet again.

you watched on with wide eyes, joining in on the chants of milan's supporters whenever one of the players got close to the opposing box. it was a tough game. both clubs tried their hardest to score, yet the attack was always stopped before the football could cross the line. this went on for almost the whole first half before milan got a corner kick. you were sitting on the edge of your chair, tapping your fingers against your thighs in nervous anticipation. the referee blew his whistle and before you could ready yourself for another missed opportunity, you watched as the ball flew past lecce's goalkeeper and hit the back of the net. rafael had finally managed to score a goal. you jumped up, screaming in joy as you watched the team celebrate their lead. all your pain and sorrows were forgotten for a few minutes while you cheered along with the other fans.

the smile that adorned your features was one of the few real ones you had flashed ever since the breakup. your heart swelled with pride for the team and especially rafael, yet throughout the whole celebration you had to remind yourself that this was only temporary. it would stop the moment you stepped out of this stadium and you were catapulted right back into reality. in these stands you could still dream about a world, where all of this didn't happen and everything was fine, but outside this building you couldn't do that. so, while you had the chance you embraced it and enjoyed the moment, briefly pushing your struggles to the back of your mind.

well into the second half you found yourself sitting on the edge of your chair once again, nervously bouncing your legs. with lecce being one down the team tried their best to score, creating a few chances that scared the milan fans. though, thanks to mike maignan's abilities none of them could pass the line.

after rafael's second chance to score, which he had shot over the goal, you watched him run down the left side of the field. he made it seem so simple as he passed his opponents and teammates with the ball at his feet, when in reality you knew how hard he had already worked and still did to become the footballer he was nowadays. once he was close enough you held your breath, interlacing your hands to keep them from shaking. as the portuguese shot the ball you watched him slip and fall over while it was flying through the air. you were on your feet the second it hit the back of the net, screaming alongside the other fans.

your eyes were set on rafael, who came running towards the corner flag, ready to celebrate his second goal of the match. you noticed the cheering grew louder with each step he came closer and you couldn't help but smile at that. though, once he stopped to do his celebration you could feel your heart skip several beats. you froze as you watched him tap the badge twice before he formed a heart with his hands – the exact same celebration he had always done, when he had dedicated a goal to you.

your heart contracted painfully in your chest. everything that you had tried to suppress throughout the game suddenly came crushing down on you. you didn't know he was still doing that. you had avoided watching any of rafael's games ever since the breakup up until this day.

while the people around you were still on their feet, cheering for the team you flopped down onto your seat. you couldn't believe what you had seen. your ex-boyfriend – the one, who broke your heart – was still doing your celebration after everything that had happened. after all those weeks and months of heartbreak this simple gesture gave you something that you had clung onto during that time: it gave you hope.

hope that maybe he wasn't so unbothered by the breakup as you thought he was. that maybe the love you still held for him was also reciprocated. or maybe you were acting delusional, thinking too much into the simple gesture. maybe it had turned more into a habit than anything else. you didn't know and probably would never find out, yet you tried to believe in that feeling of hope. even if it might have been unlikely.

because if you didn't cling onto it and let the pain rule over your emotions you didn't know how you would handle it again. you knew it was stupid, but it brought you solace in moments like these. where it had been rafael and you against the world months ago, it was you and this hope that helped you get through everything now. no matter how difficult it seemed at first glance.

i wrote this awhile ago (hence the
#17) after seeing the idea on tiktok
i wasn't sure about uploading it at
first but thought why not
hope you enjoyed :))