The king's first wife

It'll all be good

" You have to be ruthless," he remembered his father's dying words as he stared at his burning body
" There's no point trying to be just. You will just end up being a puppet. If you take everyone's opinions into account, you will lose track of what should be done. They will keep you from making a decision and the moment you make one single mistake... Your position will be in danger," there were no tears in his eyes as he heard the wails of his mother all the way from the palace to the samshan.
" I don't want my own sons fighting for the throne..." covertly, he turned his head to find his brother in a pool of tears by his side but he didn't feel even one tear falling from his stern eyes
" Sohit, you were born to rule and Shaurya to help you. That's how I raised you both and I hope you always remember that," why couldn't he cry at his own father's demise? Why was the only emotion he felt at that moment anger?

" I don't have much time left... But I am not dumb. This illness... It was too sudden,"
" Are you implying that someone is trying to sabotage your health? Why baba?"
" For their own selfish gains, Shaurya," he still remembered how his father had looked at him. Almost telling him the name of who was behind his condition by his eyes alone. Yet, he wasn't able to do anything
" And they will try to sabotage you both too. If Sohit... Doesn't go according to them, which he isn't going to. They will go behind you. They will try to persuade you to go against your own brother," he remembered how disgusted his brother had looked when his father had told him the truth about court politics, " You have to promise me that you will never betray your brother. Whether whatever they offer you-"
" BABA!" he remembered how repulsed his brother had looked when his father had asked him for that promise... How he was taken aback by what his father was asking of him. But Sohit knew the truth. And it was right in front of Shaurya. People were going to use his innocence against him. They were definitely going to vouch for him to be the king if and when they would be displeased by the current king. They were most definitely willing to put one brother against another just for monetary gains. Sohit knew that it was all true.
" I can never even think about going against bhai!" he had just stood in front of his wailing brother and dying father with a stiff, unbothered, stern, yet heartbroken look on his face. His hands crossed in front of his chest, all he ever did was look over at his brother and father talk
" Bhai! Tell na baba! I don't even know the P in politics!"

His father never really spent much time with him or even his brother in their childhoods.
It was when they started learning and practicing swordsmanship and studying that he had a much more prominent presence in his life.

But he had never really thought that it would feel like a piece of him was dead when he first saw his father on his death bed.

Remembering the weak smile that he had received from his sick father was almost like remembering a nightmare he had in his childhood.

He never felt like it would mean much. Nor had he given his father any prominence in his life but, now that he was gone... He couldn't help but feel like a thousand needles were pricking at his heart. Still. He didn't shed a single tear.

Not once did he even need to blink his tears away as he rotated around his father's dead body which was covered by wood.
Since he couldn't see the corpse, he felt like he could move on quickly.

Then why were his hands refusing from accepting the pot full of his father's ashes?

Since his father wasn't the one who actually taught him anything, he felt like it would be easy.

Then why did he feel like he should have been the one who was being burned?

As he immersed his father's leftover ashes into a holy river, his hands started shivering in fear. As he walked back home in his white clothes, his feet started pulling him away from that palace where he had spent his entire life. He just wished to live as a normal villager, with his wife and son, away from all the worldly duties, away from his responsibilities as a king, and away from all conspiracies.

But as he looked at his heartbroken brother. He knew that that life was not his to live. To live a comfortable life was his brother's right... His only right was his responsibility to the Kingdom that had given him so much since he was born. His only right was to the throne and it was his destiny to deal with all the thorns in his way.

For a moment, he was selfish, hoping to not pass this on to his wife or son. Hoping to send them away somewhere... But. He couldn't change someone's destiny. And it was Pari's destiny to be his wife and his Kingdom's Queen. It was his son's destiny to be the next king. He could not change that.

All he could do was hope that God wouldn't be as cruel with his wife and kid as he was with him.

God gave him everything at that moment.
Yet.
He felt like he had nothing.
Till.
He felt someone pulling him into a loving embrace.

" Sohit..." he was dead inside till he heard her call his name in the most loving voice that he had ever heard her use and all he could was burst out crying.

Since his father fell ill. He hadn't once expressed himself. It was wrong of him to do so.
For months, it had tormented him yet he suffered silently and now that the man was dead, he couldn't control himself.

So, he broke down in her arms that day. For the first time, sharing his sorrow with someone and he was glad that it was her who was rubbing his back and holding him in her embrace.

" It'll all be good,"