Chapter 20

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     Lately I feel like I have been on autopilot.

Besides Chanel I haven't really been talking to anyone else.

I just say hi and keep it pushing or if I am forced to have a conversation, I keep it short.

My life has been school, gym, football, and that's it.

I have been getting attention on social media. I decided that if I really wanted myself to be out there as an athlete, I'm going to have to post on every platform.

I've been successful so far since I had some brands reach out to me and wanting me to promote their brand.

Coach also advised me to check out USC and UMich.

So I decided to go to USC the other day but I was not satisfied at all.

The school just didn't feel like me.

And it honestly made me feel so discouraged.

I told my parents that Michigan was interested in me and how I wanted to visit.

So I'm going to go tomorrow since I don't have school. We have a long weekend so I decided to make the trip.

I have also been thinking of coming out with my own athletic wear line.

We need more modest fitness clothes.

So I have been doing a lot of researching on who should manufacture the clothing.

As well as potential names for my company and the products I should come out with.

I fall back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I admire my ceiling fan and think to myself.

What would happen if this fell on me?

What would be the odds of someone having their ceiling fan fall on them?

My train of thought gets interrupted by Sophia. She walks in my room and points to my suitcase, "did you finish packing?

I let out a sigh, "Yeah, but honestly I don't really know if I want to go anymore."

Sophia gives me a weird look, "Girl get over yourself. You got into UCLA, if you want to go there so badly then go. Just become a coach or something once you graduate."

This annoyed me, "I am not giving up on football. I never will."

"Girl I said you can be a coach not a cheerleader, you'll still be doing football related stuff."

I roll my eyes, "You don't get it. I want to be on the field, I want to be QB. I've been playing this sport my whole life."

"Okay then, you have two schools. USC or Umich, pick one. You should be thankful you got not one but two offers from great schools."

She takes a deep breath, "Do you know how hard it is to land a spot on either one of those teams? It's hard for a guy to do that."

She points at me with her hand, "You are literally a girl... A HIJABI GIRL... who managed to get these two offers. Now shut up stop acting emo, pick a school."

I open my mouth to say something but she cuts me off, "Your main goal is to get to the NFL right?"

I nod my head.

"Yeah so why don't you just keep that in mind? Everything happens for a reason and honestly who cares about the school, what matters is the work you're going to put in. Focus on getting to the NFL. There is still yet to be a female on the league."

She has a point and honestly things are going to be so much harder once I get to college. I have to make sure my grades are excellent and that I play even better than what I consider my best.

College football is serious and the coaches are really tough.

"It is cold in Michigan right now, make sure you bring a coat with you. You may not need it here but you definitely will once you get there."

I mimic her with my hand, "Yeah okay mom."

"You are actually literally my child. I consider myself as a mom of 3."

I walk up to Sophia and give her a hug, "What if I choose Michigan? What am I going to do without you? Without everyone?"

Sophia laughs, "Zara, you are not going to Lebanon. You are going to another state in the United States. We all can visit you, and you can always visit us."

I let go of her and smile, "Now I kind of want to go to Lebanon."

She rolls her eyes, "Girl... Michigan is basically a Middle Eastern country. You'll feel like you're in Lebanon once you're there." 

Michigan is famously known for its Arab population.

I feel like it's going to be nice to be close to people who are like me.

Maybe that's what I'm missing.

"Thanks Sophia, I feel a lot better now."

She nods, "Yeah don't get all relaxed though kid. You have a lot of obstacles ahead of you."

I fear that she is right.

"But for now just go to bed, you have a flight to catch tomorrow." 

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End of chapter! Stay tuned for more.

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