Loving Your Imperfections

Rude Awakening



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Mia

Nerves in hand, I took a seat next to her and sighed. "Look, Sandra... I know last time I came to your house I... I was rude and,"

She puts her hand up, closing her eyes, "Stop. Before you start giving me all this pity shit. You're right... You were rude, and you ruined my day. You have no idea," she says as her eyes become watery. "How much I have hated myself all this time. How at many points I have asked myself, maybe I wasn't so innocent, it could be my fault. I get it... You hate me because you lost your mom, and you were so young, you had to grow up without her, but guess what? I was just a teen." she says, making me feel awful.

"I was on my way to a friend's house that day," she says after pausing for a few moments. "My mom had just gifted me that car. And, I wanted to show it off to my friend. We were going to drive off to celebrate my sixteenth birthday. I was so excited." she says, sniffling but sounding ecstatic about the memory. I had always wanted my car, and my parents worked so hard to make it happen. They didn't disappoint either. It was such a beauty." she says, remembering the car she had her wreck in.

I couldn't say anything, I didn't dare interrupt her. I lowered my gaze, feeling my eyes betray me, getting watery. "I don't blame your mom or you. This happened for a reason, and I have learned to deal with it. Sure, it's been hard, but hey, look!" she says, making me glance down at her feet. She could barely move, but I saw it.

Her left foot moved a bit. "You... You moved your,"

"I know! It's taken me fourteen years, but I am finally taking therapy seriously," she says proudly. My mouth gawked openly in shock, and my eyes widened. I was glad for her.

"Sandra, I... I'm sorry. It was my mom's fault. She was drunk that day, and I... Didn't know. All these years, I thought it was your fault. I hated you for all the wrong reasons. You were at no fault for that wreck. And my dad... He thought he was protecting me, protecting what I thought of my mom, so I didn't have a bad image of her, but all it did was make me resent the wrong person. I'm so sorry." I said, crying.

She looked at me with understanding. It's weird to explain, but somehow... I knew she understood. "You know, Mia," she says, moving her wheels and coming closer. "For a while, I hated your mom, too. And I hated you when you came by and yelled at me, I wanted to tell you off. To cus at you and tell you what a horrible mom and dad you had. One, your mom was a drunk. Two - your dad was a coward for not telling you the truth. But!" she says, making me turn to her.

"Sometimes parents tend to make the wrong decisions for us and don't mind the thought of consequences because all they have is the best of intentions for us. Your dad tried to do what was right for you, just like my parents did for me. But if I'm being fully honest," she says, looking down at her legs.

"It took that accident for the three of us to realize that we were not ok. I was a great student and thrived in school in every aspect. My parents were both hard workers and did everything for me. But," she says, looking out to the back.

Her mom sat looking at an old magazine. Her face looked tired, and yet, she wore a smile on her lips, disregarding everyone around her. "I took them for granted. I felt invincible. Like I could do and conquer all." she says, smiling. "I had just joined the cheer squad, even though I was a bit of a nerd," she says, giggling. I smiled through my tears.

"But I never saw what I was doing wrong before that wreck. I was changing. My parents worked their asses off, and all I did was hassle them. Cheer uniforms, cheer camp, bake sales, and do this. Do that. I told you, I don't want those stupid shoes!" she yells, making her mom look in surprise. She reenacted the memory, pausing. Her eyes watered, and she sighed painfully. I could see the sadness through.