you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter twelve

The few dim street lights made it even more eerie as Magnolia tried to decide whether or not she was actually going to go inside of her childhood house. Her car was parked two houses down, she felt so silly.

As she passed her brothers Harley, she tried to calm her nerves. Knocking lightly on the door, she heard Josiah say "I'll get it."

The door was cracked about halfway, revealing only her brother. "Is it safe?" Magnolia whispered, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I think so, she's made a few passing comments but nothing major. Also, I accidentally told them you were going out with a musician but they don't know who it is," he scratched the back of his head, awkwardly.

"You little shit, I'm gonna kill you," Magnolia threatened, before stepping inside. She was immediately met by her parents, David and Kira after she stepped foot into their house.

"Maggie?" her dad said with wide eyes as he made his way over to his daughter and embraced her in a hug. David was immensely better to his daughter than his wife.

"Magnolia," her mom's cold greeting sent shivers down her spine. She pulled away from her dad's hug and greeted her mother with the same cold tone.

"Why don't we eat? Let's sit down," Josiah motioned to the table. He took his sister's coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door. Everyone took their places at the table.

"Should we say grace? Or do you two not do that anymore?" Kira's comment was mainly directed at Magnolia, she still was under the impression that Josiah was her golden child.

Josiah stopped saying grace the moment Kira tried to kick his only sister out of the house, while Magnolia still said it almost every night before eating.

The youngest girl fiddled with her cross pendant and replied "Let's say grace," before placing her hands in a position where her brother and father could grab them.

After the family prayed over the dinner, they began eating. The baked macaroni and cheese and salad filled everyone's plates as they sat in awkward silence.

"So Maggie, your brother says you're going out with a musician. Who's the lucky guy?" David broke the awkward silence with an equally awkward question.

"Um, her name is Julien Baker. She makes music under her name and a band with her friends Phoebe and Lucy," Magnolia pushed around her food with her fork, staring down at her plate.

"You're dating a girl?" her mother shrieked, throwing down her fork. "You are unbelievable!"

"She's a good person! Can I play you one of her songs before you make your mind up about her?" The girl's hand flew to her phone, hoping to save her parent's image of the girl she adored.

"Sure, Honey. I'd like to hear one of her songs," her dad permitted her as she looked up the song.

"She's outstanding, I've listened to a bunch of her stuff. Julien's nice too, she's very respectful," Josiah talked her up, trying to get his mom to chill out a little bit.

"This is a song off of her last solo record, is called Ringside," she told them as the music fills the room.

Her dad's head lightly bobbed as the song went on, while her mother still had a look of disgust on her face. The girl attentively watched her mom's face as Julien sang out "Jesus can you help me now." Kira's face morphed into confusion.

Julien's voice got quieter as the song ended, both siblings nervously looked at each other, then at their parents waiting for a response.

"I really liked it! She's got a nice voice," David told them, before eating more of the meal.

"I'm confused, did she talk about Jesus?" Kira questioned.

"Yes, we shouldn't have to sacrifice faith just because we happen to like people of the same gender!" Magnolia defended herself, she wasn't afraid anymore, she had gone through so much that she wasn't going to live in fear of what her parents thought about her.

"You can't have both! Why can't you be more like your brother? He's a good man," Kira argued, making Josiah chuckle.

"She's a better example than I am! You've been so fixated on the fact that she's not straight that you've missed the things she's overcome. She's been through an abusive relationship, rehab, getting sober, multiple depressive episodes, and she's had to completely rebuild her life. I haven't prayed in years and I still smoke!" Josiah rattled off things, he was so frustrated with his mom.

"I think I should just go, I'm sorry I ruined your dinner. Bye Dad, bye Josiah, I love you," Magnolia stood up, grabbed her coat off the coat rack, and made a run for her car.

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a/n: thank you for all the support on the book!!

Act One is fully written and ready to go because some big life changes are coming up and I'll be quite busy. It is entirely written in 3rd person's POV.

Looking back on that choice, it wasn't my best. The first few chapters of Act Two will be written in 3rd person before switching between whoever I decide to write for. You will definitely be able to see the difference in imagery when I switch POVs so really good stuff will be coming in Act Two!

-A