Made Of Steele

Chapter 5

ᴊᴀᴍɪᴇ ᴘᴏᴠ

As the day went on, everywhere I went, their kit would be.

It was almost like I was stalking him, but it was all coincidental when I would either walk into him in the hall, or step into a room and he'd be there, like wherever I went, like a magnet, there he would be.

I was now extremely self-aware of the fact that of how much I was anxious yet happy to run into him, like a girl crushing on you, I could not ignore how aware I now was of him, my eyes always finding him in the crowded of places.

It was exhausting, I didn't know what to do about it.

I just broke up with my girlfriend, and now I'm gay for some guy? That can't be it.

There had to be some reason I felt this way around him, I wasn't necessarily attracted to him, nor did I ever think about what it'd be like to kiss him, when I did kiss him, I did not even know why I did it.

Kit was attractive, yet he didn't know it, or he was being ignorant about it to make others comfortable, he was friendly with each student who went up to him, freshmen to senior, he treated them all the same.

The more I watched him, the less I didn't dislike him, despite still finding him annoying from how much he tried to be friendly with me the first few days he started, like I was his friend or something.

Now I just see that is who he is, he's easy-going and like this to everyone, so the big question remains...

Why did he try to kiss me earlier?

That was what he was trying to do, and honestly, thinking back now I don't think I would have minded if he did kiss me back, out of curiosity or simply because he liked me or something.

Thinking about other men fancying me made me somewhat uncomfortable, I know I was 'attractive' in the eyes of others, being a mixed kid, I had slightly darker skin because of my mom, and my dad's dark eyes and long eyelashes.

Seriously, I didn't like focusing on looks too much, even now as a senior where everyone else is obsessed with looking good, and social media, I was one of few that just couldn't be bothered by any of it.

Sometimes I felt like I was an outsider compared to people my age, I know I didn't have a normal upbringing, my parents were protective and taught me early about the world, although back then I was just a brat, and hated how different I was to other kids, now I understood why they did what they did.

Still, being normal was all I wanted in life, so this 'thing' with Kit is completely shaking my world, and I don't know which way is up anymore.

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My last class had ended, and once I made it out the doors to the carpark, I see him.

Kit was smoking near a motorbike without a care in the world, despite smoking on school grounds, and I had to admit, looking at him in a weather jacket and pants in this hot weather, was impressive.

He looked kind of cool, too.

My car was parked near his, and unfortunately, he saw me just as he put his cigarette out as I was walking over to where he was, his eyes following me, making me feel uneasy as I unlocked my car.

Do I say something to him?

What would I even say?

I opened my car door but didn't get in, it was like my body was taking control again, despite my mind working in overdrive trying to figure out the best way I can talk to him, without coming off weird.