Made Of Steele

Chapter 28

ᴊᴀᴍɪᴇ ᴘᴏᴠ

"Have you calmed down?" I asked, handing a glass of water, which Kit accepted with an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry." His smile fell. "I didn't come here to break down on you."

There was a silence that washed over us, if not for the sound of the voices beneath the floor, in my gallery, I would think that nobody was here.

"I should probably go, I left Amanda on her own."

Ah, right, Amanda.

Kit had put the glass of water down and then started to compose himself, and suddenly as he took a step, an overwhelming sense of desperation filled me.

I reached out and grabbed his hand, a little harder than I thought, making him turn and look at my hand, then my face.

"Wait." I swallowed hard, as I still held onto Kit's hand, tightly.

"There's one thing I don't understand."

"What's that?" He asked.

"Why... Why did you come here?" I so badly wanted to know.

"I mean... really, it's been two years... and we..."

I felt lost, for two whole years I had thought of a million ways to ask this question, but with him standing in front of me now, my mind was completely blank.

"I didn't want to come." He said, filling the silence, causing my chest to tighten as I looked at the pained expression on his face.

"It was Amanda's idea."

I looked at him confused, as he smiled sadly at me, his hand relaxing in mine as he looked at my hand still wrapped around his.

I released my hand and took a step back. "The same Amanda from the accident?" I asked, and he nodded his head.

"It's been a crazy few months, but we're good now, and if not for her I would still be in London, moping behind a desk."

I see, so even after everything, it took someone I didn't even know to put him here, but the question still remained.

"Why."

He frowned, and reached for my arm. "Jamie-"

"No." I moved away from him and gripped my hair tightly, the urge to scream the question again in his face, to make him answer me.

"You had no fucking right to come here, did you honestly think I'd what, forgive you?" I laughed out bitterly.

"You let my dad scare you away, the same 24 hours where you said you wanted to be with me, and I-"

Fuck I felt like I was burning hot with rage, looking at him now only brought that feeling back, the feeling I had tried so hard to erase.

"I opened myself to you, I let you in, and you took advantage of me, you used me and now you show up here, and say 'I missed you', well that's just too fucking bad, Kit... or is it Christopher, whoever the fuck you are!"

The room was starting to spin, and just like before, two years ago, I was starting to feel sick, so sick I had to move to hold onto something for support.

"Jamie?" Kit's worried voice comes out, as I see three of him come towards me.

"Are you having a panic attack?" He asked as I shakingly nodded my head, as I covered my mouth.

I wanted to throw up, but the stubbornness of me, I refused myself that release.

"I'm here, just breathe in and out, alright?" His soothing voice filled me, as he held my shoulder.

"Should I go get someone? Your dad?" He asked, worriedly as I shook my head, feeling the effects start to disappear.

I felt awful, and to have an attack like this in front of him... it just made me feel even more shitty.

When was the last time I experienced that? And this bad.

"Fuck." I groaned, my head starting to hurt. "No- don't get anyone, especially my dad."

Silence filled us as I felt myself start to come back to my senses, as the nauseousness started to go, Kit stood next to me, with those eyes that I had pictured a thousand times.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"What is it?" Kit asked, as I snorted, then sighed.

"This is totally fucked up." I pointed out to KIt breaking down, and then me, doing the same.

"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" He joked, as I scoffed, yet agreed with him.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

I looked up at him and sighed, because as much as I didn't feel ok, having him here had a strange effect on making me feel as though everything might be good again.

I knew he had to go, and I knew that whatever just happened just now was irrelevant, because we were strangers now, we had nothing to do with each other anymore.

"You should go, your friend is waiting."

There was a pause of silence, before Kit nodded his head, and moved away from me.

"You're right." He smiled weakly as he took his phone out of his pocket, which was now lighting up in his hand.

He didn't answer the call, but instead he stared at me, as I stared at him, and when whoever was calling him had stopped, he took a step forward.

"Can I see you before I leave?" He asked, making my heart skip a beat.

"I leave in two days, and I'd really like it if we could talk properly before I head back home... Even if it's just for a few minutes."

He goes into his pocket, and takes out a card with a hotel logo in the middle, and a number written in ink at the bottom.

"It's my new number, if you ever want to see me again, I'll be waiting."

With that, Kit turned around and walked to the front door, opened it and left, closing the door behind him, his eyes meeting mine one last time before I couldn't see him anymore.

The moment the door closed, I looked down at the number and stared at it, in perfect writing, his name and number.

Christopher Pierce... Kit Pierce...

Just like before, he was like lightning, he came and then he went just as fast, but something felt different this time.

I didn't chase that lightning two years ago, I could have found him easily and stopped all this from happening, but I didn't.

I did not want to let him slip through my fingers again, because I was unsure of how I felt.

I knew how I felt now, I had known for a long time, and like a coward wanting redemption, I waited for him to come to me.

He's here for two more days.

Laurent was a big mistake, and so was France and everything I did up until now, Kit is what I had wanted, ever since we started whatever this was.

My dad was right, I wasn't happy, but I wanted to be.

I only wanted what I was too afraid of two years ago, knowing it would be the only thing to make me happy.

By simply talking, smiling, and spending time with me, he was like nobody I had ever met before.

Such a simple thing felt so special, and the moment I lost that, I made the connection to what it was I truly wanted in life.

Kit made me happy, and I wanted to be with him.

I really, undoubtedly and was immensely in love with him, and I didn't want to let him go, not again, not while my heart is still beating.