eclipsed nova (UTM Feysand)

13

The dreams I slipped into were the first pleasant ones I'd had since I went Under the Mountain. I dreamt of a cozy cabin tucked back between snow-capped mountains, a warm amber glow radiating from within. I felt a fierce sense of comfort and belonging. I felt... happy. I watched the people inside the cabin laughing and telling jokes by the fire, cups of steaming tea in their hands and blankets around their shoulders as though they'd just come inside.

    Outside the snow was shuffled and kicked about, walls of snow packed vertically in what I could only assume had been protection in a snowball fight. My chest ached. I wanted to walk through the door, to join in on their banter and their love. I couldn't make out their faces through the fogged-up window.

    Laughter burst from inside the small wooden house, and a sense of calm and peace rushed over me. I didn't know who the people were, but I instinctually knew it was never something I was meant to be a part of. My feet stayed rooted where they were, just watching and listening, feeling bits of my heart mend just hearing their joy.

    "Feyre, wake up," a voice hissed. I gasped, scrambling backward as I rubbed my eyes. I blinked hard, my vision slowly returning to me. My heart nearly stopped. I had to still be dreaming, couldn't possibly be seeing what I was.

    "Tamlin?" I croaked, coughing.

    "Feyre, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-" He began, but then stopped mid-sentence. His upper lip curled, and he looked around Rhysand's room, taking stock of everything and particularly noting the state of the bed.

    "Why are you here?" I whispered, leaning forward slightly so I could see his features better, but he refused to look at me. I went to touch his face, but he recoiled from my touch. His eyes were blazing with anger. For the first time around Tamlin, fear struck my chest. I'd never feared Tamlin hurting me, but now I wasn't so sure. His anger sucked all of the life from the room. "Tamlin?"

    "She was right about you," he growled, baring his teeth slightly. His claws began to extend in place of his fingernails, and my eyes widened as I watched. He wouldn't hurt me, would he? What had set him off?

    "What do you mean," I asked, my voice strained. I was so tired of being held on strings by anyone who wanted to yank me about. I was expected to do exactly as asked and never form individual thought. Some version of the idea of me in his head had been tarnished, and that was reason enough to be violently reactive as though I hadn't watched him dote over Amarantha while he regularly left me to starve.

    "Is that why you left the Great Hall early? To come back here and fuck him?" He sounded disgusted at the idea, as if I somehow still belonged to him despite his complete disregard for my life. Had he forgotten that I'd crawled over glass to save him from Amarantha's blade? My fist clenched around my wrapped bandage as I glared at him with all of the ire I could muster.

    "Excuse me?" I said, raising my brows. He scoffed.

    "This room reeks of sex, and no other male scent than Rhysand's," he said condescendingly, still refusing to even look at me. So, he gets to show up in the middle of the night after over a month and be jealous of the first attention I'd allowed myself to have? As though he didn't likely spend every night with Amarantha?

    "You have some audacity to come into my room-"

    "Rhysand's room," he snarled, but I pretended he hadn't even spoke.

    "- in the middle of the fucking night and ask- sorry, no, you didn't ask did you? You come in here and assume things that have nothing to do with you anymore," I said, throwing every ounce of spite I could into my words. I refused to remain docile and agreeable anymore. I was fucking angry. And it was about time he knew I was.