eclipsed nova (UTM Feysand)

24

"Helion feels pretty confident about breaking the blood ward," Rhys whispered into my hair as he held me to his chest. He was warm and solid underneath me and my body formed perfectly to his- like we'd been made so that all our features fit together like puzzle pieces.

"Yeah?" I murmured sleepily into his shirt.

"I just have kind of been thinking about what it would mean if we really got out of here," he sighed. I nestled in closer to him and his fingers grazed my skin where my shirt was hitched up, exposing a sliver of my lower back.

"What do you mean?"

"I just-" He began, but sighed, rubbing a hand roughly down his face. "I'm not sure about our odds of rescuing Tamlin. I have no clue where she's keeping him. I tried to pry, but she got oddly suspicious, and I had to drop it. Of course, I hope he is alive, but I'm not sure. I'm not really certain who he would have named heir of his estate. Perhaps Lucien? He's a fine enough male and I'm sure he'd be willing to keep Tamlin's word-"

I lifted my head, narrowing my eyes at him.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Well, I didn't want to assume anything of you. You told me you wanted a distraction, Feyre. I am more than happy to provide that for you, but I was always aware you had no intentions of-"

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, forcing him to stop talking. He inhaled sharply through his nose and stiffened before relaxing into my touch and passionately grabbing the back of my head to kiss me harder. He slipped his tongue past my lips, and I swallowed his moan while kissing him back with equal intention.

"I go," I whispered between kisses, "where you go." He pulled back and looked at me with glassy eyes. His thumb caressed my cheek as he searched my eyes for any evidence that I may be trying to joke with him. Finding none, he pulled me into a tight hug, burying his face in my neck in the ways he did when he felt more emotion than he knew how to handle. I stroked the back of his head, twining his dark hair through my fingers.

"Do you mean it?" He whispered softly against the skin of my neck.

"More than I've ever meant anything," I sigh. "Did you really think after everything- after you'd saved us both, that I'd just leave you to go back to him?" His silence let me know that was exactly what he'd been expecting. It broke my heart, knowing how much he still put himself at risk for me, thinking I wouldn't choose him in the end anyway. Rhysand was endlessly selfless, even at the expense of himself.

"I try to consider myself replaceable," he said quietly. "It hurts less when it's inevitably true. The more I can anticipate the emotional blow, the easier it will be to come back from. Although I'm not sure I would ever come back from losing you. Not really."

"You won't lose me," I promised him. I would do whatever it took to keep that promise. I would be the one to show him that not everyone leaves. I would show him that some people are trustworthy and mean what they say when they tell him they care about him. More than care about him.

"Feyre," he sighed, shaking his head, opening his mouth to tell me not to make promises that I wasn't sure I could keep, but I wasn't having it. Not tonight. Not when there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel, showing us that we might really survive this.

"I want to see the Night Court," I whispered to him. He held me tighter to his chest, like he was afraid I wasn't really there with him, like he'd imagined it all. I held him even tighter to show him that I was.

"I would love to see you there," he murmured.

"Tell me about it," I say, hoping to coax him into a better headspace. While talking about home made him sad, it also reminded him of all that was waiting for him on the other side of this. I needed to stoke the flames of his fight and keep him hopeful.