Coin-Operated Boy (Narry)

Give Me Love

-Niall’s Point of View-

Louis had gone with me to Zayn’s dorm so Zayn could ‘fix’ Harry. I insisted on staying to make sure Zayn wouldn’t purposely botch the whole thing but Louis pulled me out to the cafeteria.

Even the cafeteria isn’t the same without Harry sitting beside me eating nothing but sweets.

I was walking alongside Louis and listening to him chatter away but it’s like I’m not really there. My legs are moving yet it’s happening without me realizing it, like my body’s functioning but my mind is elsewhere. I glance at Louis who’s so animated about whatever it is he’s yammering about but I can’t bring myself to care.

It isn’t until we’re sitting down with our breakfast trays where I slip up.

Louis stares at me expectantly.

“What?” I ask staring at the strawberries on top of my waffles.

“I knew you weren’t listening. I said, I’m giving Eleanor a promise ring.” Louis answers poking me in the ribs with his elbow playfully.

“Well that’s hardly worth celebrating.” I mumble.

“Now you’re talking rubbish. That’s a big step, mate.”

“No. Marriage would be a big step. I mean it’s just not as…binding. With a silly promise ring, you can call it off whenever you want and it’s almost like saying ‘hey I think we should spend the rest of our lives together but just in case either of us changes our minds, here’s a promise ring instead of an engagement ring’.” I go on callously.

I know I’m being a massive dick but I can’t find it in myself to feel happy for Louis and his living breathing girlfriend. I’m selfish and there’s nothing I can do but be rude and unsupportive to my best mate.

“You know what an arse you’re being so under the said circumstance I forgive you.”

“You just can’t imagine the thoughts raging inside my skull now. I want to be happy for you but-”

“It’s alright. Things have a way of working themselves out.”

I want to yell at Louis for saying something so generic. I already have an areshole comment on the tip of my tongue. I want to go off on him about how he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a loser, to be alone, to fall hopelessly in love with someone you shouldn’t be with, and to lose them completely. My heart’s ravaged and he can’t possibly know how much it hurts. This isn’t something I can get over. It’s something I’m going to carry for the rest of my mundane life. I fell in love with perfection, perhaps that’s my downfall.

To make matters worse, I can see Liam approaching our table.

“Hey lads.” Liam smiles brightly.

Usually the smile would make me go delirious like a Japanese school girl but now it just makes my stomache turn.

I nod imperceptibly and Louis smiles back at him.

“Still upset about Harry leaving to Chesire?” Liam asks with sincerity.

A lie Louis has spread. Harry’s missed by the others too. Doesn’t surprise me.

I stuff food in my mouth hoping Liam gets the message that I don’t feel like talking. Even the food is tasteless without Harry.

“So how are things with you and Zayn?” Liam changes the subject.

I choke on my scrambled eggs. Louis pushes the cup of orange juice into my hand and I down half the cup in one go. I wipe the forming tears from the corners of my eyes and try to process what’s just been said. Me and…Zayn? Zayn who? Zayn Malik? There aren’t many other lads named Zayn in this school. Well, none actually besides Zayn.