Buried Ashes (MxM)

3-Dinner

Jackson

Ben had been rushing around preparing for dinner with our guests tonight. I wanted to help, and he assigned me salad duty.

Perhaps because it was difficult to screw up chopped vegetables.

I watched my mate in awe as he prepared for the evening. He looked so beautiful. It had been seventeen years since we got married, and he has aged so gracefully. I was proud of him for all of the difficulties he has survived in our lives.

From losing his parents at a young age, surviving the hell my father put him through, losing our first child to a miscarriage. And our second, and third. His nightmares and occasional panic attacks still occurred, but much less now. He had certain triggers that could bring these things on, and I tried with everything in me to keep these triggers away. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes not.

He was happy for Luca and Liam when they found they were pregnant with Amelia, but cried in my arms the night he found out. He wants so badly to bring our child into the world, and his heart breaks more with every miscarriage, as does mine. It wasn't his fault. The doctor, Joseph, had told us pregnancies can be high risk for omegas as it is, but the immense amount of abuse he experienced at the hands of my father as well as the extreme exposure to wolvesbane, could have permanently weakened his body; making it more difficult for him to carry a child to term. Not impossible, just higher risk.

He had settled into his role as Luna so perfectly though. The children of the pack loved him, and flocked to him any time they saw him. He was adored by everyone else too, but there was still a tangible hesitancy to approach him. Because of their fear of me. They feared that if they said one wrong thing to my mate that I would be waiting there to jump in and rip out their throats.

The rumors spoken about me are not true. The general fear of me wasn't unforeseen, but it still pained me to see. No one dared to speak of the day that I killed my father. The terror from the event held everyone who witnessed it in a chokehold. 

I hated that my pack had to see that. But no one understood the real reason why. No one knew that if I didn't do what I did, my mate would have died in that dreaded cell. No one knew the absolute horrors Ben went through. No one knew that my father's death was just. Merciful, even. He should have suffered.

There were a few who knew, though. Beth, Luca, Liam, Vincent, Joseph, Eleanor, and myself. It was better this way. Hiding the truth protected the pack. It protected our Mason. He didn't need to know the circumstances in which he was conceived. I fear it would tear him apart.

He also didn't need the pressure of becoming Alpha on his shoulders. I wouldn't do that to him, as my father did to me.

Beth told him his father died when he was very young. This kept his questions at bay. He seemed to see that response as enough. We were grateful for this.

Shortly after we were married seventeen years ago, Liam and Luca found out that Luca was pregnant. He gave birth to Griffin. Griffin is a great kid, and will be a strong Beta. I just wasn't sure who would be Alpha beside him. Perhaps Griffin would need to step up and fill that role himself. About six months ago, they welcomed little Amelia Soo into the world. She was an adorable baby that made Ben and I believe she could bring a smile to even the coldest man's face.

The doorbell rang, pulling me back to the present.

"I'll get it, baby," I told Ben as he was putting the finishing touches on dinner.

"Thank you, Jax" he smiled up at me.

Walking to the door, I opened it to see the Porters. Liam stood holding a platter of cookies, Luca holding Amelia beside him, and Griffin stood behind them completely distracted by his phone.

"Come on in, guys," I said as I stepped to the side to let them in. They began walking across the threshold, and Liam shoved the platter of cookies at me with a smile. I chuckled and took them. We walked to the kitchen and Ben exploded in happiness at the sight of the baby.

"What can I do?" Luca asked, now having two free hands.

"I was just about to start bringing everything into the dining room," Ben told him as he cooed at Amelia. Luca took over Ben's job as the doorbell rang once more. I quickly walked to the front door and found Beth and Mason on the other side of it.

"Hey, come on in," I told them with a smile. I ruffled Mason's hair as he walked past me. He groaned and began fixing the disheveled strands as I chuckled. I walked with them to the dining room.

Throughout dinner, Beth, Luca, and Ben stayed engaged in conversation with each other. Griffin and Mason seemed to be in another world, hardly eating at all; remaining practical statues the entire time. Liam and I watched them suspiciously while the other three seemed too distracted with each other to notice. 

"Dadada!" Amelia exclaimed from Liam's lap, pulling our attention from the boys.

"Sorry, baby," Liam told her before giving her another bite of her baby food. I smirked at the cute interaction.

After dinner, Liam and I took care of the clean up while the others moved to the living room.

"What's up with the kid?" I asked Liam as I rinsed a plate and handed it to him to put in the dishwasher. 

"Hell if I know," he said with a scoff. "He's been like this all day. What about Mason?"

"Beats me," I replied. Cheers erupted from the living room along with Amelia's shrill squeals of delight.

"Sounds like little miss main character is at it again," Liam said with a chuckle.