the soul crushing look on his face- Ferard

New kid

GERARDS POV

I like hurting people.
Mentally, not physically, of course.
The thing is. I get off on it. I really enjoy it.
It's like when you hear serial killers say they feel no regret, no remorse for all the people they killed. It was like that. I really did enjoy it I don't care how long it takes either since I was definitely in no hurry anyway. It was like a twisted hobby for me. Almost like a game, I'd wait till they were fully in love with me looking at me with their big eyes full of love and longing for my affection and approval.

And I'd watch that crushed look in their eyes or on their face as they kept lying to themselves. Second guessing their own feelings. Trying to make sense of what I was doing to them and trying to deny to themselves how much I was hurting them.

The look of hurt, betrayal and confusion as I slowly began to withdraw and ignore them after treating them like the most special person in the world was priceless and beautiful. It really got me off, and seeing that look was all I was there for. Maybe besides the sex, but not even that feeling came close to the way I felt when I saw that look on their face.

I think I've made it obvious that I really don't care for any of these boys and occasional girls. I was gay, but that didn't stop me from doing the same thing to girls, I really didn't care who it was. Like I said I was only there for that look on their face after I'd crushed them and gave them trust issues, and some other issues or whatever. I really didn't care. And the more they hurt was addicting to me.
Almost like a drug,  and I had no intention of stopping. Especially since there was talk about a new boy.

Frank iero. He moved from California a few weeks ago and is just now starting school. He was 16 and in a few of my classes. He was really pretty and just the thought of that look on his face really made me happy, he was a bit shorter than me. He wore ripped black jeans and an Iron Maiden shirt. He had a lip ring and some pretty smudged eyeliner. In a good way, of course.

He really was different from a lot of kids at our school, and I really couldn't wait to introduce myself to him. It helped my case lots that he was new and what kids at my school would call "weird" he would most definitely get picked on looking like that.

I've already seen him get pushed around a few times today. It would be easy with this kid and I could already tell.

He'd get picked on by the "jocks" at our school and have no friends. No one to sit with. No one to talk to. No one who liked him. Then I'd come in and be nice to him which he would obviously be longing for after being isolated and bullied by everyone else.

Then he'd fall for me and my charms, and I'd slowly but surely pull away crushing him (not all the way through) then I'd come back and treat him like nothing ever happened, then I'd be a tiny bit meaner to him which would crush him a bit more. Then just like before, come back and treat him with kindness and affection. The cycle repeats itself for a bit before I set the final nail in the coffin.

Being as nice and gentle with him as ever. Then quickly, and without warning,  be the biggest dick to him. I'd leave and this time not come back. Giving me that look in his face. He'd come back thinking I'd switch up on him again and be nice. But I wouldn't, I'd leave him there. Alone.

Just like a lost puppy abandoned by their owner. He'd be begging for approval and love from me just like I did before. And when I don't give it to him he'll try and find it in other ways.

I've done this on lots of people and I know the way this goes. He'll either turn to someone else who's almost always a creep or he'll turn to self sabotage.

And in some rare cases he'll change things about himself. His clothes. His hair. He'll stop eating hoping I'd love him again if he was thinner or "better" but I won't.

Which in turn will make him even more depressed. And honestly give me even more satisfaction.

Just the thought made me smile.

I have it all figured out and he doesn't even know it yet. For this to work out the way I want I'm going to leave him alone for a bit. A week or two.

He'll be bullied and isolated from everyone else. Making him alone and sad. And also very easy for me to take advantage of.

Like I mentioned before this was like a game for me. And it had just started since after this bell rings in 3 minutes, we go to our lockers for passing period. And his locker is 2 down from mine. His is also the broken one, you have to kick it a bit to open it but he doesn't know that yet. And no one else is gonna help him. Except me. Over the time period of a week or two like I mentioned before I'll smile at him and wave in the halls occasionally, and help him open his locker but never actually have a conversation with him.

Just to give him a taste of what's to come. And so he knows of me but not me.
I was lost in my thoughts a bit before I heard the beautiful sound of the bell.

That meant the game had just started.