the soul crushing look on his face- Ferard

Life is strange

FRANKS POV

Life is Strange.

My home life still wasn't improving much, just in case you were wondering. It actually got worse in a way, my mom just drinks and wallows away in self pity. She'd cry to me about everything when she was drunk sometimes, this woman desperately needed some therapy.

Anyway- Ryan standing up for me was honestly one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

Gerard had texted me a few more times, I still didn't answer him. I didn't know what to say to him right now.

Of course I still loved him, love sadly doesn't magically vanish the second they're mean to you. At least for me it didn't. But he's cheated on me, and slapped me, and pressured me to drink. Jesus Christ why did I never realize what a dick this kid was?!

Ryan and Brendon got suspended for 3 days. It was a lot less than I thought they'd get, so that was really good. Ryan had given me his number, and we've been texting lots. As a result of that, I've found out a bit about him.

1. He was sixteen.

2. He was gay (called it)

3. He loved song writing, kickboxing, and guitar.

4. He had a really huge crush on Brendon.

Also the Walmart bathroom thing was totally made up, he did end up admitting he wished it was true though. Pretty odd, but fair enough.

He hasn't told Brendon because he's scared or something like that. It's obvious Brendon feels the same, but Ryan is so blind he doesn't see it.

They're childhood friends so he mentioned something about not wanting to ruin their friendship. How cliche.

I didn't know how long Gerard was suspended for. I knew I had to talk to him eventually, unfortunately I couldn't avoid him forever. I just didn't know what I was meant to say to him anymore. I loved him more than life itself, he very clearly didn't feel that way.

Sometimes I felt like all he wanted was to hurt me.

It definitely felt like it, I just wanted him to be nice to me. I wanted our relationship to work out, so fucking badly. I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want him to leave me. I didn't want to wake up in a world where he wasn't my boyfriend. I didn't want to find someone else. I didn't want to love anyone else. I wanted him. He was the only one for me.

If im crying and heartbroken over a person, at least im crying and heartbroken over him, right?

I know he's done some really bad things. But for some really stupid reason I didn't seem to love him any less, no matter how badly I wanted to.

I let out the most dramatic sigh I could let out on my way to school. Walking to school was normally something I didn't mind. But today I just really didn't want to go, not that I really had a choice.

I walked into school at went to my locker, grabbed my shit. And went to my first class.

Looking at Ryan's empty chair next to me, gave me mixed feelings. It got me thinking, as usual.

Ryan seemed to be a really good person, the kid knew me for less than a day, and yet seemed like actually cared. That was new.

He did stand up for me, and that was good for me. But, he was now in trouble. His mom and dad were upset about his suspension. He was now grounded. I did feel guilty he got in trouble because of my problems.

I wonder what he could be doing right now. Suspension would be boring, wouldn't it? No. Actually I think I'd rather be home for 2 days than here.

I want to go home.