the soul crushing look on his face- Ferard

Need

GERARDS POV

Frank had called me out of the blue asking to meet me in the park. I knew he'd come back eventually. He wasn't strong by any means, he was weak. He needed me. I know he needed me, he was an idiot who depended on me. It was only a matter of time before he would call me.

I got ready and left. On my walk over I thought about what I would say when I saw him.

I rehearsed my apology in my mind, I knew it would work.

I would give a weak apology, he'd forgive me, things would go back to the way they were. It only took a week for him to call me. That was a new record.

He cared about me more than he cared about himself. That's why he was an idiot, he deserved everything I was doing.

He loved me like a dog.

That's the way Frank was. He loved like a dog, but not in a cute puppy way, more like a dirty mutt on the side of the road that hopefully follows anyone around begging for scraps kind of way. That's just simply the way he was.

I'm sure I'm not ruining him, just making him more interesting.

Sometimes I ask myself why I am the way I am. Why I do the things I do.

Maybe it was because of my lack of friends?  In all honesty I didn't see the point in them the way I used to.

The second they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

I used to depend on them, the same why Frank depends on me. I was scared they'd all leave me, they made me feel like I wasn't enough no matter how hard I tried or what I did.

Then I stopped talking to all of them, I learned to suck it up and stop being a weak crybaby. Maybe that's what Frank needed to do.

Maybe it was because before I started doing what I was doing, every single good thing I've ever had has been ripped from my hands so often they're too sore to hold anything anymore. Not even sympathy or compassion for others.

Maybe.

As I approached the park, I saw Frank sitting on the swings in the distance. He was looking down zoned out. I wondered what he was thinking about.

I walked over and sat down on the other swing next to him.

He looked at me. A frown on his face, he was on the verge of tears and that was pretty obvious.

"It's okay, come here" I reassured him. We both stood up, I pulled him into a hug, he hugged me back. He started to cry. It reminded me a lot of the first time I brought him to my house.

We stayed like that for a bit before he backed up and tried to wipe all the tears off his face. "I'm so sorry I hit you, you didn't deserve it" I started, he let me speak. "I was so angry and I couldn't control my emotions but I'll be better I promise"

Now I stood there. And waited for his reply.
I wondered if he would push me away, tell me it was over and he never wanted to see me again. He wouldn't do that to me, would he?

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2 chapters in a day, they're both short. Sorry. The 3rd will be published later tonight probably 😱
ALSO MY TIK TOK MOOTS HAVE THIS BOOK NOW..