the soul crushing look on his face- Ferard

Broken lockers.. and homes

FRANKS POV

It was my first day and I was already getting shit from these annoying kids I didn't even know.

It really was annoying but they were a lot stronger than me so I sure as hell wasn't gonna do anything about it.

I could take a few shoves and some name calling but I knew for a fact doing something back would result in me getting my ass beat which I didn't really want.

The bell rang and I got up and went to my locker. I was a little confused, It didn't open? Well shit.. why did things like this always happen to me? I swear I put the right combination, I put in the combination in a second time and swore under my breath when it still didn't open.

Then some kid helped me. Someone was actually helping me for once all day. He was pale and had the most bright red hair I'd ever seen, he was gorgeous it seemed unreal. He spoke before I did "this one's broken you've gonna kick it a bit.." he said before giving it a small kick resulting in it opening, "see?" He said when it opened, gosh he was hot.

I almost forgot how to talk for a split second before muttering out a pathetic thank you. He smiled and walked off, jeez he had a nice smile. As he walked off it sunk in. Gosh Frank that was the most pathetic excuse for a thanks ever.

I don't think I'd ever seen someone so beautiful in my life. I put my stupid book in my stupid locker and went to my stupid class in this stupid school in this stupid new place. I don't care how dramatic I sounded.

Truth be told everything was stupid to me right now.

I really hated jersey so far it was.. what was the word again?

Oh yeah! STUPID.

I rolled my eyes and went to my stupid chemistry class which I really didn't wanna go to.

School was bad enough but chemistry was hell on earth. I took my seat in the back and minded my business, drawing a bit on my hand. I wasn't really good at art.. now that I thought about it, I wasn't really good at anything. Sometimes I have these weird but sad realizations about myself.

I zone out a lot. I'm almost never not zoned out. It was comforting to live in my own head, there was nothing I couldn't do. I was safe in my head, no one could hurt me in my head. I was so deep in thought I didn't even notice the red haired boy from earlier staring at me. Wait huh?!

He was now sitting right next to me looking at me. He startled me a bit and I jumped slightly, "yeah?" I asked him wondering what was doing and why he was looking at me.

He seemed to be startled once I spoke to him and he quickly turned his head facing the board without saying a word holding his breath.

This kid was pretty odd but I wouldn't comment on it.

I left him alone, and just kept quiet trying to pay attention to what the teacher was saying or whatever.

He didn't do or say anything the rest of class and when it had ended he just got up, collected his things and left. Alright. I got my things and was ready to walk out before I was stopped by someone just before I could leave.

It was a boy I didn't know, but then again I really didn't  𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 anyone. He was tall and skinny, he wore normal black skinny jeans and a normal black hoodie. He had glasses.

I was gonna ask what he was doing, but he spoke up. "Hey.." he said pretty normally, "hi?" I said hesitantly.

"You.. know Gerard?" He questioned me, who? I didn't know a Gerard. I looked at him confused and he seemed to get it. "The- red haired kid.." he said. Ohhh that kid, I knew of him but I didn't know him in particular.

"Ohh" I said acknowledging the fact I knew who he was referring to. "Yeah.." he said kinda awkwardly, "I don't really know him.. he just helped me this morning" I told him.

"Yeah I bet he did, didn't he?" He said as he chuckled a bit. What? I looked at him confused before he looked back at me and spoke, "What's ur name?" He asked me.

"Frank.. and yours?" I asked him back, "I'm Mikey.." he sounded like he was gonna say something else but stopped himself. "Uh.. you should stay away from Gerard if you can" he said eventually.

Stay away? well it's not like I was actively trying to be around him anyway so whatever, I wanted to ask why but I decided not to. I just nodded, he smiled and walked off. Alright?

-

First day at my new school was over and it was pretty shitty if I was honest, I was pushed around 24 times today. I counted. I got called a fag so much I lost count before the day even ended. I'm walking home now and that red haired kid- Oh wait, Gerard just kept looking at me all day, who knows maybe the kid has a staring problem. Every time I'd catch him looking at me he'd quickly look down or away.

I wondered if he thought he was being slick cause he reallyyy wasn't. But it was whatever.

I hated going home it was probably gonna be my least favorite part of the day. My parents are interesting.. but my mom was cool when she wasn't with my dad, but they fell out of love years ago.

They were so in love when I was smaller. They were never away from each other.

They were the reason I started to believe in truth love.

But they were also the reason I now thought it wasn't real.

They couldn't even have a normal conversation without it turning into a fight and my mom kicking my dad out for the night. They always either ignored each other, had a fight, or spoke super briefly if it was about laundry or bills.

I haven't heard or seen them have an actual conversation about anything that wasn't bills or their "responsibilities" since I was about 8.

I made it home and could hear the yelling from outside the door. I put the key in the door and went inside, sure enough my mom and dad were in the kitchen having a screaming match.

It was pretty normal I didn't say anything I just went upstairs without a word, and sure enough as I walked past my dad felt the need to bring me into the argument. "AND LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT OUR SON. HES WEARING MAKEUP AND ACTING LIKE A FAGGOT-" he screamed but was cut off by my mom. "OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TIRED OF UR BULLSHIT" she screamed back.

I liked my mom more than my dad. It's not like I hated my dad. Even though I was sure he hated me.

I closed my door and stayed in my room I didn't do much all day anyway, I kinda just rotted away in my room. I did song write and play guitar though. Music was kind of an escape for me, especially with my home life.

Sometimes I feel like it's really the only thing keeping me sane
I came home and did what I normally did.

Nothing.

Before I knew it I checked my phone to see it was now 10pm I shrugged and went to lay down.

I drifted off to sleep but eventually woke up at 11pm to hear the front door slam shut.

There goes my dad for the night.

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Not to brag but someone I don't know commented on this book yesterday I feel so #fame rn I love comments sm🤭