"Boyfrenemies"

nine

CRAIG'S POV

"And last on the list is...Stanny boy," I say checking off all the other places we've delivered the packages to, "Who the fuck drinks coffee in their family? His dad drinks beer like all the time. He use to get into fights at our baseball games. It was hilarious."

"R-Really? Why?"

"I honestly don't know. He just enjoyed bailing himself out of jail I guess," I say walking up to the Marsh residence.

I knock on the door once and Stan appears with a black eye.

"DAMN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" I asked.

He sniffs and says, "Kyle was being an asshole today. Like he said I was acting like Cartman--"

"Oh that's low."

"I KNOW! So we kind of fought...like Kyle and I--we've been screaming at each other until our faces turned blue. But we've never been physical," he scratches the back of his head.

"Wow," is all I can say.

"Yeah...who's this?" He asks.

"Oh yeah. This is the new kid in our class, Tweek Tweak." I introduce Tweek and he twitches.

"Oh, hey. I'm Stan," He reaches out to shake his hand.

Tweek hesitates for a second and then grabs and shakes it.

"So...are you gonna pay us or what?"

"Oh. That's not for me. That's for Shelley--SHELLEY! YOUR COFFEE IS HERE!"

"SHUT UP TURD, I'M WATCHING FRIENDS!"

Stan's sister has some issues.

"BUT YOU ORDERED THIS COFFEE  PACKAGE! WHAT THE HELL SHELLEY--"

"S-Should we c-come back?" Tweek asks.

"Nah. She's just being the bitch she always is--SHELLEY I SWEAR TO GOD--"

"WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS LIKE YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND DID?!"

"Damn," I say, "It's fine, Stan. We'll come back later."

"Alright," He says.

"A-Are you going t-to be okay? Y-Your sister s-seems pissed."

"She's going to be fine haha," He assures, "See ya later Tucker and...Tweet?"

"It's Tweek," I correct him.

"Oh sorry I'm bad with names," He says and closes the door.

Sure he is I think.

***THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL***

"THE NEW KICKER IS ON THE BULLETIN BOARD," Butters Stotch tells everyone at lunch.

I had to act like I was excited but inside I was hurt.

"So this is what it feels like to be replaced," I tell Token and Clyde.

"This new kicker is gonna suck," Token says.

"Yeah.." Clyde says.

"Well. We might as well go see right?" I suggest.

"Wait let me finish my taco--"

"No let's go now," I say and grab his arm.

We walk down the hall along with the other boys in eighth grade.

There was a crowd so we couldn't see shit.

I tried jumping but I still couldn't see anything.

"WHOEVER'S IN THE FRONT NEEDS TO READ IT," someone yells from the back.

"OKAY JESUS CHRIST," Eric Cartman says.

Of course.

"ITS...Clyde Donovan?"

What?

Chatters began swirling around the room.

Everyone slowly started turning to us.

I looked back at my "best friend."

His caramel eyes grew wide.

"Craig, I--"

I just shook my head and ran off.

What kind of best friend is that?

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

OKAY OKAY I HAD TO ADD A GLIMPSE OF LAST WEDNESDAY'S EPISODE IN THIS.

WHEN KYLE AND STAN FOUGHT I FELL ON THE FLOOR.

BUT THEN WHEN TWEEK AND CRAIG LOOKED LIKE, "Are they copying our fight?" I SCREAMED OML.

-Brooke