Fly Away (Michael Jackson)

twenty five

Bonnie's POV

I still have feelings for him.

I can't stand this stupid agreement, but I know I blew it, and there may be no chance of ever getting him back again. I over exaggereated about the whole 'Escort' drama, and told him I needed time. Then I made things worse by going out with Blake and kissing him.

No wonder Michael doesn't want me anymore.

I absolutley hated myself for everything, and I sighed a sigh of sadness everytime I saw Michael; all alone, and not with me.

I just wanted to tell him everything, hoping he'd feel the same, but I can't unless I want to be rejected and then have a more awkward relationship than it is now.

Since last week, I've been living with Janet. She let me stay with her in her room, because...I can't sleep with Michael anymore. We're just friends...

I can't stand to see him not with me.

*

Michael was at the studio recording a song he wrote. He used to always ask me if I wanted to go with him. This time, all I got was, "Good morning, I'm heading out to the studio. Bye," Which is what he said to me when I waved to him this morning. Hoping for another regular conversation again.

I think he's completely moved on. Or he's avoiding me... or both.

I can't say I blame him.

All of these thoughts wanted to make me cry. I had to stay strong, though. If I cry, I have all of these case senarios in my head. The best one is him asking me what's wrong, and when I explain to him that I still love him, and he admits he still loves me too. But that one's for the dreamers.

The worst one is that he sees me crying, and then continues to walk on with his life. This one seems to be the most realistic one.

I felt a warm tear hit my thigh, and I realized that I was already crying. Damnit.

I quickly wiped my tears away with my sleeve of my shirt, but it was as if they kept refilling as I wiped them away. So I let them fall. I didn't care anymore.

Just then, the door bust open, revealing Michael crying as well. I looked at him, and our tearing eyes met. With no emotion change at all, he looked back at the stairs and ran upstairs to his room and locked it.

I knew it.

I knew that the worst case senario was going to be the one that came true. When it dawned on me that it was true, I sobbed like a baby into the a pillow on the couch.

He didn't even care.

He didn't, even, care. I know it's all my fault. Don't you ever wish you had a time machince that would pop up at the perfect time when you mess up, and you have to listen to it no matter what? I desperatley need one of those right now. I think I deserve the very first one in creation. Because my life will never be the same, now that Michael's not in it as much anymore.

I. Just. Want. To. Love. Him. Again.

Is that such a sin? Is it really that wrong? I couldn't understand why Life was taking us further apart. I've always believed in "Everything Happens For A Reason," and stuff like that.

I don't know what the reason for becoming 'Just Friends' with Michael is.

**

Michael's POV

*Back at the Studio*

I walked out on Quincy, and I couldn't help it anymore. I started bursting into waterworks. I turned back around, and I told Quincy that I needed to go. He understood completely.