Single Father (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 16

Zayn's POV

The quietness of my flat was the only thing I listened to as I started at my kitchen table trying to figure out how to fix the messes I've made with my bills in the past two months. I've payed half of some things so I had money to pay half of something else. Then I didn't pay something for one month because I didn't realize how much diapers, wipes and formula was going to cost me. I've stopped feeding myself in oder to pay utilities, but some how in my sleep deprived mind it didn't even cross my mind that I needed to pay rent.

The month before Laila was born, I had a moment where I was scared and stupid. I knew that I was going to be a father so I went binge drinking and clubbing for three days straight. I spent all the money I had for rent on alcohol and different drugs. So I didn't pay that month. Then I ended up being the only parent to Laila and realized that I had wasted some money on hospital bills because Perrie refused to pay them. The rest of what I had left went to buy Laila clothes and baby things she would need. Then this month I just forgot to pay it because I was more worried about paying utilities so Laila would be warm.

"What the hell did you do?" I whispered to myself when I saw I only payed four dollars for the medical insurance bill. I took another sip of my coffee and looked up to see it was seven in the morning. I had been up since Laila woke up to eat at five. She eats three times a night still, but I never really slept that much. I was still worried about Niall and the way he looked when he was in the hospital and of course the fact I need to somehow pay rent before I get kicked out of my flat in one day now.

I was so angry at Niall for not taking better care of himself. I knew that this would happen because he was working at the shelter for six days straight without stopping. When he would call me I would ask if he was eating or if he was about to go home, but he always just changed the subject to asking me if I was eating. I guess I'm angry and worried. I'm angry because he has no idea how much I need him. Even if I'm a stubborn ass hole that doesn't want him helping me, Laila needs him. She was literally crying for him. Towards the end of the night, I was crying with her.

I set down the letter and looked down at my calculator on my phone that had the amount of money I actually had in my bank account. It was a total of seventeen dollars. Somehow I was supposed to make Laila have a wonderful first Christmas with that and pay for this flat so she could have Christmas. It was hopeless and made me sit back on my chair with my hands covering my face as I sobbed quietly.

In the back of my mind I played a scenario that involved me and Perrie as a family. We got married and moved in together. Laila had everything she ever needed because she had both her parents. I would go to work and Perrie would stay home until her maternity leave was over and we could take Laila to my mum to watch her. Both of us wouldn't have problems with money and maybe I would be able to go to uni to get a degree so I can make more money for my family. Suddenly, in my little scenario, Perrie was replaced with Niall. He stayed at his flat with Laila while I went to work. He would kiss me when I got home and Laila never cried for him ever again because she had the Irish man right there. At night once Laila was in her own crib in her room, I would get to love on Niall's beautiful body a little then we would go to sleep only to wake up and live such an easy life all over again. Dreams are so much easier than reality.

"Zayn?" Niall's voice spoke. I wiped my eyes and stood up to pretend that I was going to get more coffee. In reality, I didn't want to face him after I've been crying. He doesn't need that stress right now. He was in the fucking hospital yesterday.

"Good morning, Niall. Can you go check on Laila?" I asked him with my back towards him and a crack in my voice. I picked the bottom of my shirt up and wiped my tears then reached to fill up my coffee cup. Soft arms wrapped around my waist and Niall's face rest on my back.