The Pregnant soon-to-be Wife

Chapter 6

Anna's POV

I couldn't stop smiling at work cause I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and Matt asking me to be his girlfriend. It still felt like a dream I had last night when it was just a few hours ago.

Kat wouldn't let me work till I told her what happened.
In detail, of course. She was something.

Was it all going too fast? I asked myself

Yeah, it was. This wasn't right. I was living in the moment and forget about my responsibilities.
I'll call Matt right away and tell him things are moving too fast.

"Talking yourself out of it?" Kat asked

I looked at her in shock. She knew me so well, sometimes I think she's in my mind.

"Huun-..."

"You are" she confirmed

I stood there with my mouth slightly open without words.

"Anna, stop doing this to yourself"

I sighed "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Of course, you do. You've been doing it for six months now."

Of course, I knew what she was talking about. But I didn't want to admit it cause it'll only make me see things from a different perspective, in a different way and make me vulnerable to the world. I didn't want that. I was shutting myself out from the world. Yes. But only cause I can't stand what my mum's going through.

I'm not strong enough to keep looking at the world the same way after what happened. It's like the world was dragged from underneath my feet and I landed flat on the ground. Metaphorically speaking.
I wasn't strong enough to keep on going to college with a part-time job cause I didn't want to face the world head-on anymore. I wanted to be behind the walls that I'd built in the last six months.

But since Matt happened, it's been hard trying to keep the walls up. When I'm around him all the reason for putting up the walls was no longer there, they no longer mattered, and they no longer made sense because I no longer felt like my dad was gone and my mum was in the hospital fighting for her life. He made me feel whole again like I had more to live for than just being there for my mum. All my heartache goes and is replaced with something I don't really understand yet.

"You want to run away from your feelings for Matt? Go ahead I won't stop you this time, but just remember that you'll be better off trying to work things out with someone who cares about you than doing it on your own" she was no longer playful like her usual self. When she was really serious about something she told you straight.

"But I have you"

"I'm not enough"

"You are. You're like a sister to me. You know everything about me. You share my pain and my happiness"

"But you need someone who wants to offer his heart and take yours. And you can't have that with me...except you're a lesbian"

I gave her a little sad smile.

She returned a shocked expression
"Oh My God, are you? I've never seen you kiss a guy, ever. How come I've never noticed? Geez, and it must feel like I've been leading you on and..."

I busted out laughing
"Kat, calm down. I'm not a lesbian. God, give me some credit"

She smiled
"Is he a good kisser?" Kat asked out of the blue

"Kat!?"

"What? I just want to know"

I sighed. Typical everyday Kat.