No More Secrets (BWWM)

Chapter 35: Epilogue - Recovery

A/N: After this, No More Secrets will officially be over. I'm so sad because this was my favorite book to write. It started as the most cliche thing ever, but after a little revision, it got better I hope! I cannot thank you guys enough, which is why I will do an authors note as chapter 36, so if you see me update after this, that will be it, and I'll post it either later tonight or tomorrow. I can't believe it's over, but as always, I love you guys, and enjoy.

~CasuallyMe





First I'll acknowledge
Your trust has been broken now
A successful recovery
I pray for us at night

Blessed me with a second chance
Never thought I'd see your face again
Learned a lot through trial and error
Tryna make it right

Make it right
Make it right
Make it right
It's time to do ya right
Woooooooah woah, wooooooooaaah

Missin' ya good intentions
Missin' ya from a distance
Hope ya did the same

I know that I caused a problem
I Know that I left you livid
Pushed you far away

Learned it don't pay to lie
Costs more to see you cry
Sayin' nothing gets you nowhere fast
Imma hold it back inside

Well now that I'm back around ya
Nothing else really matters
Hope ya feel the same

First I'll acknowledge
Your trust has been broken now
A successful recovery
I pray for us at night

Blessed me with a second chance
Never thought I'd see your face again
Learned a lot through trial and error
Tryna make it right

Make it right
Make it right
Make it right
It's time to do ya right
Woooooooah woah, wooooooooaaah

Goin' through all the motions
Tryna find a reason
Why we ended that way

Nothin' in life is perfect
When you're changing like the seasons
That's what they used to say

Cause goin' to sleep alone at night
I don't wanna close my eyes
Wanna give you all I have to give
No more holdin' back this time

Now that I'm back around ya
Nothin' around me matters
Hope ya feel the same

First I'll acknowledge
Your trust has been broken now
A successful recovery
I pray for us at night

Blessed me with a second chance
Never thought I'd see your face again
Learned a lot through trial and error
Tryna make it right

Make it right (make it right, make it right)
Make it right (make it right, make it right)
Make it right (make it right, make it right)
It's time to do ya right
Woooooooah woah, wooooooooaaah

You know Imma do you right
You know Imma do you right
You know Imma do you right
You know Imma do you right
Imma do you right
You know Imma do you right










!~* Allison's POV *~!


I am currently at my eight month mark. Cody and I are... Separated for now, but with me being the mother of his children, I don't think this will last long. I love Cody, with everything in me, but he just couldn't figure out how to make time for me and our daughter. He bought a small apartment, and he still comes and picks Ky up every weekend. His apartment isn't that far away though, and we made sure of that because little Kendrick could come at any time.

When Cody picks Kyden up on the weekends, we speak a little bit, but not much. He asks me to take him back every week, but I just can't do it. There's still love there, but if I can't even go on a date with my husband, what's the point? It tears me up to say no, but there's no purpose in constantly coming back just to get hurt. Cody has a hold on me, and each time he asks, he makes it harder to decline.

Eva and Danielle are both pregnant again, each four months along. Eva was able to tell she was having a baby boy like me, but Danielle has yet to discover her child.

The doorbell rang, and it being Friday evening, I knew exactly who it was.

"Come on Ky, daddy's here," I smiled, bending slowly to retrieve her. I do miss Cody being around so he could help out with stuff like this. We agreed that he would move back in once the baby was here, but as far as our relationship, we left that in the gray area.

Ky smiled as I opened the door to see Cody. She hates going between us two, but that's what we have to do.

"Hey," he greeted with that smile that still made my heart flutter.

"Hi Cody," I grinned. I handed him Kyden and her bag. She has some stuff at his place, and some down here.

"Allison, I-" he tried.

"Cody, we do this every week. I can't... Just not right now," I cut him off.

"Ugh, I hate being away from you," he whispered taking a step closer. He was hovering right above my lips, and I wanted so bad to kiss him.

"Cody, I hate this as much as you do, if not more. But I told you, if your job comes before our family, then we can't be together," I sighed.

"I'll cut back hours, hell, I'll quit if you want me to!" He raised his eye brow.

"Cody, you can't do that. You've waited all your life for this," I shook my head.

"Then what do you want?" He whispered bringing his hand to move hair away from my face.

"I..." I trailed off. What did I want? At this point, everything blended together. I couldn't make sense of my own scattered conscience, I knew that each thought and request couldn't be meshed into one answer. There were a number of things, yet I knew I couldn't have each one.

"Anything babe. All you have to say is the word, and I'll do it. Anything to have you and our daughter back," he cupped my cheek, still holding Ky.

And then, he kissed me. My knees almost buckled the second we made contact. His tongue slipped in, and I moaned into his mouth. I tore my lips away, immediately regretting it.

"Cody, I just can't! We can talk about this later. I'll call you," I mumbled wiping the tears off my face.

"Fuck!" He screamed punching the brick wall outside. "Alli, babe, I don't think you are understanding completely," he paused putting Kyden in the car, then returning to me. He gripped my face in his rough hands. "I NEED YOU. I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU. YOU AND KY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU. I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH PEACE IN TWO MONTHS BECAUSE YOURE NOT THERE. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE TORMENT I ENDURE BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA IF MY FAMILY IS SAFE OR NOT. I FUCKING LOVE YOU, ALLISON! JUST PLEASE!" He yelled, kissing me again. I melted into his lips, but yet again tore away.

"Cody, you know I love you, I always will. But baby, actions speak louder than words," I shook my head, slowly shutting the front door.

I sulked around, being upset with myself for messing our relationship up. All of it wasn't his fault, I was to blame too. I could've talked to Cody instead of ignoring him. I could've came to his job, and I could've payed at least a little credit to his small efforts.

Walking to my room, I sighed. Now, I was all alone. My baby wasn't here, and neither was her father. They were both gone, which left me with myself and my nagging conscience. I wanted him. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to wrap his arms around my waist. I just wanted what we used to have, and could still have if he just spent more time at home.

I couldn't handle the withdraws I was having, so I decided to call the girls. They were all at my house in fifteen minutes with ice cream and cookies. I group hugged all of them, and sobbed. They and their families were all I had.

"Guys, I just don't know what to do anymore," I shook my head. Kelly rubbed my arms.

"Al, you know he loves you and he would do anything for you. All you have to do is tell him what you want," Kelly suggested.

"He told me that, but I don't know what I want..." I trailed.

"You don't want to be with him?" Danielle asked, astonished by my statement.

"I do! I want to be with him! I still love him, it's just I feel like he doesn't love me," I frowned.

"Alli, I know for a fact that he says it every time you see each other, and you say it back," Eva spoke up.

"I know, but actions speak louder than words and... He doesn't show he loves me because he puts his job before Ky and me."

"All you have to do is tell him! Tell him exactly what you're telling us, and tell him what you want. You know he'd do anything for you. What are you so scared of?" Kelly grimaced, handing me a tub of ice cream and a spoon.

"I'm scared of us getting back together, and it working for like two weeks, and then it go back to how it was! I need a permanent fix, not a temporary promise," I sobbed.

"I can give you that," Cody whispered from my doorway. My eyes lifted, and I saw him standing there with Kyden.

"Will you please come talk to me? Please," he pleaded, helping me slowly off my bed. Kyden hugged me around my neck before pushing me toward her daddy, and sitting in a Kelly's lap. I nodded and followed Cody into our guest room.

"Allison, I want you to tell me everything that you want. Right now, tell it all," Cody instructed. I sighed before beginning.

"I want you, Cody. I want us back. I want to spend time with you, and you spend time with our daughter. I want to sleep with your arms around me, and I want you to hold me. I want you to be home at least by seven at night, and I want you to help me around the house. I want you to take this stupid wall that you have, down. I want you to let me know everything you think and talk to me. I want you to take the weekends off, and take me and Ky to the park, or the zoo like we did. And I want you to love me endlessly and make me fall in love with you all over again," I whispered.

"Okay," he answered plainly.

"Okay?" I asked, confused.

"Okay, all of that. It's done. I don't think I should move back in, but I swear in the next month, before Kendrick comes, I will repair what we have left. I'll take you and Ky out for lunch everyday, and I'll come over and eat dinner and I can leave by 10, unless you want me to stay. It'll be just like dating again, and we can fix this Alli. I swear we can fix this, and I won't stop until it's fixed. I love you baby, and I won't ever let you or this marriage slip away," he promised and kissed both of my hands.

"That's all I want Cody," I paused, standing and hugging him. He pulled me as close as be could get, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I miss us," he whispered, kissing my temple.

"I miss us too.I hope we can come back sooner than later..." I trailed. He held my face in his hands, looking deep into my eyes.

"Time isn't a factor, babe. We have all the time in the world. What we need is recovery," he whispered.

"Recovery can only happen when you allow it. It's just repairing," I countered.

"Not true. Repairing is a temporary fix, you said you didn't want that. Recovery is what comes after destruction. Recovery is regaining possession or control of something lost, and right now, I want you and our family to recover."







A/N: COMMENT!!!!!!!! I seriously cannot believe this is it, but sadly it is. I have the cover of the sequel on the side, and you guys know how bad I am with covers, lol. On the first two chapters, I'll show you guys the older versions of Allison and Cody. And also, if anyone wants to write a chapter, after you read the first three chapters of the sequel, let me know. I'm letting my best friend (I'm sure she knows who she is) write on the sequel. Anyways, I guess this is goodbye until I write the thank you note, and the sequel. Wow, my last A/N on a chapter..... THIS IS SO SAD, IM LITERALLY CRYING, lol. But you guys follow me on tumblr @-CasuallyMe, I just got it about a month ago, so my followers are really low.


OKAY, OKAY. I'm done. I guess this is it guys. I love you all with all of my heart, and it would mean the world if I got more than 10 comments and overall reviews on this book. Anyone want to write a new description about this book? No? Okay. This is it.


And now we all wait for Recovery.