Chapter Eight: Hurting Myself feels good

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Akura’s P.o.v

Being so closet o Ethan is really nice. When our bodies are together I get warmer. That is incredible because I am almost always cold. I got more near to him and he smiled. Why can’t he be in my life? “Ethan?” A person said. I let go of Ethan quickly and sit up. Ethan does the same and looks at the girl. His mouth gets open and his eyes get big. “Co Courtney?” He said still with big eyes. “Um yes, you weren’t at the pizza parlor so I thought something was wrong with you but I see you are pretty darn entertained here” She said. She sounded kind of mad… But why would she be? Is Ethan mean to her or do they have problems like me and Bill?

“I um will let you two people um resolve your um problem” I said a little unsure. The girl shook her head and looked at Ethan. “This is the best you can do Ethan? I am way better than that thing” She said raising her voice. Better than what? You can’t be better than nothing… the bible says that everyone is equal, yes you are better in something’s but not in everything. “What are you talking about Courtney I wasn’t even fucking her or anything so shut the fuck up” Ethan said running his hand through his hair. He lowered his hand in the bed and I just stared at it. What can I do to make him calm down? “YOU WERE ABOUT TO FUCK HER IDIOT! YOU DON’T FUCKING DATE WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO WITH HER!” Courtney shouted.

Oh no, this is exactly how Bill used to shout at me… Memories came back into my head… All those times he called me a crazy lunatic, he told me no one will ever like me and I will die alone, that I won’t have a life, that I will never be free from him or happy, and most importantly if I don’t get killed he will kill me himself…

Kill yourself… A voice says in my head.

If you kill yourself you will end with this once and for all…

Do it….

The voice keeps saying. Hurt yourself in any possible way, at the end it will be worth it…

I stood up and rushed out of the room. I don’t know where I am going to but I know what I have to do…

I walk down some stairs and start seeing some people. They are all wearing very fancy clothes and dancing with guys. “Come and join us” A woman said. I walked up to her but then a guy screamed. “You only can if you hurt yourself, here everything is happy but firs hurt yourself.”

I want to be happy and I want to learn how to dance… I ran out that room and went to this other room. I search through all the drawers and found a knife, a big pointy knife.

I ran back to the room and still saw the people there. “C’mon hurt yourself you will like it” A person screamed. I looked down at the pointy knife and smiled. Maybe they are right…Maybe I will like it…

I grabbed the knife with my left hand and stretched out my fright arm. I closed my eyes and placed the knife in the upper part of my arm. I pressed the knife into my skin and sliced it rapidly twice. I opened my eyes and saw a red liquid dripping from my arm. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!

I started to panic and looking around. They were still there but in the water now. “Cut some more and you can come swimming” I let out a breath and closed my eyes shut. I placed the knife in my cheek and pressed it. I cut through it harshly enjoying the feeling.

The red liquid started falling through my cheek and when I looked up they weren’t there. They didn’t leave me again!!! Good job, a voice said in my head. I smiled and saw the liquid fall into the floor. “Oh my God are you crazy!!”  A girl shouted from behind me. I looked back and saw it was the girl from upstairs and Ethan.

She just called me crazy... She is just like Bill!!! “Shut up Bitch; don’t ever call me crazy again!!” I shouted very loud. Her face changed to a scared one and she looked at Ethan. He looked at me and had a scared face too. “I hate people! I hate life! I hate everything!!” I shouted louder.

Ethan’s mom came running downstairs and quickly looked at Ethan. “What is going on here!!?” She said. Ethan looked at her and pointed at me. She turned around and gasped. “Akura what happened??” She screamed walking in front of me. She took the knife and looked at my eyes. “Courtney please leave.” She said. The girl named Courtney nodded and looked at Ethan and then at me with hate, just like Bill…

Ethan’s mom walked her out the door. Ethan grabbed my hand and sat me in the couch. He brung a white piece of cloth and placed it in my cut. “Does it hurt?” I shook my head and he nodded. He cleaned the red liquid from all my cuts and looked at my eyes. “Ethan please go to your room” His mom said. He nodded and looked one more time at me before going upstairs.

Ethan’s mom moved towards me and sat next to me. She took my hand in hers. “Why?” She asked. “They told me to...” I answered.

“But why do you do what they say?”

 “I- I don’t know, I just have to…”

 “Why did you scream that to Courtney”

“BECAUSE I HATE PEOPLE AND LIFE!!” I screamed.

She squeezed my hand and I looked down at it. I slapped her hand hard and she quickly took it away from mines. “Ouuchh Why did you do that?” “BECAUSE I WANT TO HURT MY SELF AND YOU DON’T ALLOW ME!!” She shook her head and looked at my eyes. “You have a lot of dark circles under your eyes. Go and get some sleep” I stood up and went upstairs with nothing else to say. I opened the door and went in. I looked for Ethan and I saw him in the Bathroom I looked through the small open in the door and saw the same  red liquid going down the sink…

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Sorry for updating so damn late!!! I am writting  a new story and skewl is like UGH. But I hope you enjoy. Please Comment and vote. I WILL LITERALLY APPRECIATE IT!! <3

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