creating constellations

not a love poem

i tried to say it was writers block,
and though i do wish that was true,
we both know the reason i can't write right now is you.

i was so full of ideas until you opened the drain,
any water i had left was from my eyes that would rain
and rain
and rain
and rain.

not for you of course,
i would never give you the satisfaction,
no,
it was for myself,
for being so naive and believing in our attraction

this is not a love poem,
but i bet you wish it was.

say your goodbyes to your poems about your eyes because now they just look like black holes to me,
and i am not getting dragged into the mess of you again.

i can write now that you're no longer here.

now that you're gone i am filled with a flood of relief and ideas that you would never let me think.

i let you drain me,
and that will never happen again.
so now i am here,
happier than ever with a pen,
a pen that i can finally use without thinking of you.

A/N: i feel so much better after writing this, sorry it took so long for me to understand what was wrong, i feel like i can finally put all my emotions back into my poems again. thank you for sticking with me through the rough patch that i was having. that's all it was, a rough patch. when you're going through something bad, it seems like more than a patch, more like a never-ending highway. i don't understand why it took me so long to understand that all i need to do to feel better is recognize the problem and not let it take over my life. writing just happens to be the way i let go of things, figure out how you do, i swear to god you will feel so much better. you're so much stronger than you think you are, you know how hard it's been to make it this far in your life, maybe for you it's harder than most people, but you did it, an maybe you have battle scars, but you did it. you guys are the strongest people i know, i love you so much.