Air {Elements of Power 3}

Chapter 32: Jasmine

After Roxy left, I remained in my bedroom. I was supposed to be gathering up the things that I wanted back up at the castle, to make my room there feel more like home. But I couldn't bring myself to want any of it. Everything just reminded me of the old Jasmine. The one who used to be madly in love with Brae and was terrified that everyone would discover her secret and ostracise her.

I didn't feel like that girl anymore. I didn't want to.

I was the sort of girl who travelled across oceans to save her friends, who had survived assassination attempts not once, but five times in the past few months. I was the sole heir to the Brizan Realm.

I looked across the room at my reflection in the mirror. The sight of violet running through my dark hair used to make tears well up. But now, I realised that they were a sign of my strength, of my uniqueness. The girl in the mirror looked strong and brave, but also sad. Some things didn't change.

On the wall behind the mirror was a watercolour painting of Brae and me when we were seven. We were ice-skating. Holding hands, our cheeks red from the cold and breathless laughter. A large part of me wanted to take it off the wall and bring it back to the castle with me, so that I could see it every day and remember how things used to be. But I knew that it would only hurt more. Brae had made his choice, and it was his choice to make. I had to respect that. Even though, when we had sat on my bed a few days ago, talking, a small part of me thought that he would change his mind. That he would pick me instead.

I sighed and threw on a coat, heading back down stairs. I hugged Caleb and Noni tightly before I left, trying to silently show them just how important they were to me, and how crucial it was that they remained safe. I could understand why Caleb wanted to stay-he wanted to be near to his congregation and didn't want it to look as though he had abandoned them to cower in the relative safety of the castle. But that didn't mean that I was comfortable with the idea. I didn't know what I would do if I lost them; I seemed to have lost every other link I had to my past, my childhood, and I wasn't willing to give them up too.

The Arcan hospital was only a ten minute walk from Caleb's house. I enjoyed the sting of the wind on my cheeks; the icy sharpness of the air as it rushed through my parted lips and struck the back of my throat. I barely noticed the destruction around me - my vow to be less self-centred all but forgotten.

But when I saw Devon, my own problems felt so very far away.

"Oh, Dev!" I breathed, stepping into the room.

She looked so small, tucked under a thin white sheet. Most of her face and body were in bandages; attempts to heal the burns. Dozens of wires trailed in and out of her body, connecting her to machines, medicines, pulses. The pulses were the worst part. I had already heard the alarms once. I wasn't sure that I could bear it if I had to listen to them again.

Brody was sitting beside her, clutching her hand in his own. He looked dreadful: his skin was white and his eyes were ringed with purple from a lack of sleep. His hair was standing up on end, as though he had been tearing at it.

"Jasmine?" It was as though he couldn't quite see me properly; or couldn't decide if I was really there or not.

"Hey, Brody. You look like you need a break. How about I sit with Dev for a bit and you go get something to eat and a nice, hot mocha." I smiled, putting my hands lightly on his shoulders, trying to guide him out of the room.

"But Devon-" he said, resisting.

"She'll be fine. I will be with her. Nothing will happen while you're gone." He nodded slightly, still looking pretty dazed, but left the room.

I sat down in the chair he had just vacated, reaching out my hand to Devon's. I was shocked by how hot it felt; it was as though she was still on fire.

"Oh, Dev, look what they did to you!" I sniffed, fighting back tears. "Everything's such a mess; Imogen isn't even here to be with you-we can't let her leave the Brizan Realm-it's not safe. Kit said that he would come across with her once she was strong enough to defend herself again. I know how much she wants to be here right now. I know that it's breaking her heart."

I choked back a sob. "I'm sorry it has taken me so long to come to see you. I've been caught up with everything that's been going on at the castle; Emmanuel tried to kill me again last night. Yeah, I bet you didn't see that one coming! I sure didn't-these Sea Dreams are proving pretty useless at telling me, well, anything. I haven't had one since we left the Helian Realm-and we've experienced plenty of drama and danger since then!"

Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.

"But it's okay now-on the Emmanuel front, anyway. Tristan killed him. You should have seen it-he was like something straight out of a book. Rushing to my rescue, killing the bad guy. He's really not all that terrible, for a Sephan anyway.

"And he's fun. I'll tell you a secret, since you can't tell anyone anyway. I mean, I've already told Roxy, but I'm not sure that she believed me. Tristan and I kissed last night and it was... amazing. Nothing like kissing Brae. This was completely different. It was exciting, exhilarating; he made me feel desirable. With Brae, I felt loved and safe and happy, and that was nice; it felt right, like something out of a fairy tale. But Tristan was just...

"I'm not getting ahead of myself, I promise. I know that he's a Sephan and I'm not even sure how much I like him, really. I mean, I did just see him kill someone, even if it was to protect me. But with everything that's going on right now, I really need to have something light to focus on. And if Tristan can provide me with a temporary distraction then I think I should take it. I'm not hurting anyone. Brae's made his position pretty clear and being with Tristan could help me to get over him."

I paused, looking down at Devon's unmoving features.

"Come on, Dev, this is top quality gossip you're missing. Wake up already and tell me what I should do! Please, Devon. Come back to us. We need you."

The machine only pulsed in response.

The tears were tumbling down my cheeks now and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

{Please vote/comment to let me know what you think. Is Jasmine being sensible with her approach to Tris, or should she still be fighting for Brae?}