Dance First, Think Later - Harry Styles Fan fiction

Chapter 25

I could hear the faint music from outside the club. I opened the door, greeted the bar tender and walked down the stairs to the real club. I went through the bottom door at the end of the staircase and was welcomed by the smell of alcohol and smoke that filled the air down here. It was really hot, and the loud music made my head spin. I walked straight over to the bar and got myself a drink. I then simply laid down my jacket on a free bench on the side and then headed straight to the middle of the dance floor.

The rest of the night was pretty much a blurr. I just remember swaying to the music and freeing my mind from everything. I danced with people I didn’t know, laughed about the most stupid things and just kept drinking.

I had forgotten how much I missed this feeling. The feeling of nothing. Not caring, not feeling, not knowing. Just like you are floating somewhere, somehow. Like nothing will ever matter anymore. To be free.   

I had been dancing for hours, and I could feel my feet throbbing. I decided to go sit down. I stumbled to the free bench where my jacket was and plunked myself down. I took out my phone. It was already 4 in the morning. I smiled to myself. There were a couple of messages and missed calls. Some from Harry, a couple from Louis, and the others from Gina. I ignored the ones from Harry and Louis and called Gina.

After a few rings she picked up

“Hello…?” She was obviously already in bed.

“HEY GINAA! Dude, where are you? Didn’t you say you wanted to come to the club?” I screamed over the loud drum beats from the music.

“Jess? What the hell? Where have you been? It’s 4 in the flipping morning! Are you drunk? Everything alright?” She was obviously awake now and shot out all these questions. I wasn’t really paying attention. “I heard about you and Harry. He has been…”

“Who cares? Screw him! Just come down here! Have some fun!” I was still screaming. Harry was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now. I wasn’t actually sure why I called her. I didn’t feel like talking about anything.

“Jess, stop being so ridiculous. You can’t just pretend nothing ever happened. Running away is not the answer. You have to deal with this.” She sounded dead serious. But these words hurt. It was like a reminder of everything. Everything I came here to forget. “We are here for you. All of us. Just…”

“Just what!? JUST FUCK IT.” I screamed louder than normal down the phone and hung up. My mind was flooding with warnings and thoughts about everything I was doing. I just wanted to get it out of my head. Everything. Please.

I went back to the bar to get some more drinks.

“You alright love?” The bar tender asked smiling at me. He looked about 20 and was very cute.

“I’m perfect.” I smiled back and took the drink. I gave him a small wink before disappearing into the crowd of dancing people again. 

It wasn’t the same as it was before. Even though I tried chugging even more drinks and clearing my mind, the thoughts just wouldn’t go away. It always used to work when I was in America, but things had changed.