I'm so sorry...(A fallout fanfiction)

14

She was an idiot. A goddamned idiot. She didn't mean to kill him, she didn't want to kill him. She tried to control her anger, but like the last time, she just... couldn't. Last time was different though. She had been bullied in school by a few Senior assholes, and one day she just snapped, leaving them all with broken, bloody noses. But now, she left them all with broken, bloody corpses.
She pulled her jacket tighter around her, shuddering at the thought of the look on Malone's face when that blade slipped across his throat. She promised she would control herself during those shifts. But for a moment as she was pinned to the ground, all she saw was her stepfather's smug grin when she didn't kill him in the vaults. What she said in there didn't even seem like something that would come out of her mouth; "Don't ever threaten my bar". She had threatened him, didn't even phase her as she just killed a man. She can't stand the thought of murdering someone, but she just did, three times, showing no mercy.
She had left town, now curled up on the terrace of a destroyed apartment building. To her luck, to her shitty luck, it began to rain. She didn't care how much it hurt as she yelled, using the most colorful language she could muster. She'd semi expected a group to come after her, hoping out of all of them, it wasn't the group on the other side of the building.
"It's sounded like it came from over here."
She growled, whipping around and climbing to the top of the walls, onto the roof. She had to admit, it was a beautiful, misty morning. She didn't even have to turn her head to know exactly who was behind her, Mirk. He threw himself into her lap, squirming as he snapped at her arms that she had propped on her knees. As if he sensed her mood, he settled down, crawling into the side of her jacket.
"You ok?" Nate hung on the fire escape, slightly shivering from the rain, the others standing below him.
I just killed three people, probably destroyed hundreds of caps worth of furniture, and scared away every customer Charlie has. So yes, I'm just peachy.
She sighed, hoisting herself over the side of the wall and sliding down the drain pipe. Mirk scurried over the the group, climbing onto Nick's back. The rain seized, only to be replaced by low hanging, green clouds.
"Rad storm's comin in, if you don't wanna end up looking like me, I suggest we start moving." Hancock slid past them, leading the way back to Goodneighbor.
Phoenix tried to move, but her legs were like lead. Mac gave her a questioning look,a small reassuring pat on the back. She nodded, only able to make it a few feet before stopping to brace herself on a wall. She started twitching every so often, breathing heavy, legs like gelatin. She sunk down to her knees, digging her forehead and fingers into the wall. Mac called for the others in a panic, them soon after joining him, calling her name and trying to get her attention. Phoenix yelled in agony as the fang cuts on her shoulder glowed, burning a hole in her jacket as blood began dripping from the opening. She rolled onto her back and stared at the sky, her vision clouding as the twitching became more consistent. Mirk whined and nibbled on her fingers, trying to get at least somewhat of a reaction. It didn't even phase her as he eyes began glowing as well, sending out small sparks of radiation. She was swiftly loosing consciousness, and the storm was practically overhead at this point. The only thing they could do in time was all crawl into the apartment basement, pulling Phoenix's twitching body down with them.

They broke the handle off the door, as it was stuck, and filed their way into the small, nearly empty room. She seemed to be regaining conciousness, assumed from her breathing speeding back up. Everyone was either leaning, sitting, or twitching against the wall. It was almost pathetic, every crack of thunder sent her into a frenzy of pain, resulting in her cut oozing out a florescent green liquid. Shaking, Phoenix silently sobbed, hoping, praying the pain would be over soon.
"Does anyone know what the hell just happened out there?" Hancock questioned, for once holding back on the drugs.
"Before we got to Goodneighbor, we went into this comic book store. It was just crawling with ferals. We were able to clear them out, but the last damn one managed to take a chunk outta her shoulder. It was one of them glowing ones too. We doused those cuts in Radaway and Rad-X, and she acted perfectly fine after that. I assumed they were healing, so I left her alone about it." Mac sighed, frowning at the small, shaking figure curled up in the corner.
"She didn't act any different?" Nick questioned, Mirk sleeping on his shoulders.
"No. Maybe the storm triggered it, or water from the rain. It could have been anything." The others slightly nodded.
"The only thing we can do is bring 'er to Doctor Amari after the storm."
"Or maybe, we could bring the doctor here." Nate thought out loud, gesturing towards the sleeping deathclaw.
"That's right, deathclaws are immune to radiation. If we could get Mirk into Goodneighbor, we could get the doc over here." Hancock shuffled around under an old, filthy couch, pulling out a few small suitcases.
"Well look at that, Lady Luck must be givin us a break for once." The men chuckled, cutting it short as a crack of thunder whipped, Phoenix yelped, and curled herself into a tighter ball as she shivered. They all exchanged nervous glances as they popped open the cases, rummaging through their contents. In all, they had found four things that were useful: a bandana, pencil, mostly empty notebook, and a minimally damaged gas mask. Nate quickly wrote out their situation, and secured the note and gas mask onto Mirk's back with the bandana. Nick slight pulled Phoenix away from the door and cracked it open as Mirk scurried out into the broken city.