Protect My Heart

one

[ 01 ]

"What's that phrase that you young people always say? YOLO! You only live once, Jade. I don't understand why you'd want to willingly put yourself in danger for some stranger!"

A sigh left me as I pulled the phone away from my ear, trying to save myself from my mother's nagging. Carefully weaving my way through the traffic, I switched my phone to my left ear and continued the conversation with my mother.

"Mom, I-"

"It's just ridiculous. People aren't even willing to sacrifice themselves for their family, yet here you are taking a bullet for a damn stranger!"

"It's not like tha-"

"I get a heart attack every time I hear about a gunfight or a car crash, because I'm just so afraid that it'll be you."

"You don't have to-"

"And every time I watch the news, I pray to God nothing's happened to-"

"Mom!" I finally yelled, exasperated.

"Yes, sweetie?" she answered, her voice watery.

I rubbed my temple in annoyance, feeling a headache coming on. This wasn't the first time we had this conversation. While I regretted the worry my job brought my parents, it was not enough to stop me.

I enjoyed doing what I was doing. I didn't do it to make them feel bad, and I wouldn't stop doing it to make them feel good.

"I'm fine, Mom. Nothing's going to happen to me," I stressed, trying to convince her for the umpteenth time.

"Yet," she bit out.

It was all I could do to not scream out in frustration. "Mom, we need to stop fighting about this. We're just going in circles and we're not getting anywhere! I love my job and I'm not leaving it. Nothing you say can change my mind."

She sucked in a deep breath. "I'm not trying to force you to do anything, sweetie. I'm just worried, that's all," Mom murmured, hurt seeping into her voice.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hating that I hurt her. "I know, Mom. I know. It just gets suffocating sometimes, you know?"

There was silence for a beat, then, "I understand. Your life and whatnot. Just call me more often and come visit us soon, okay? All of us miss you."

I let out a sigh of relief, grateful that she dropped it. "Yeah. I will."

"I love you," she said gently and my heart softened.

"I love you too, Mom." And I did, even if she did get on my last nerve. I loved her madly.

The line clicked and I lowered my phone to keep it in my pocket. The silence that filled my ears made me miss the sound of her voice instantly. As annoying as my family was, especially when it came to my job, I knew that it came from a place of love.