The Professional Lover (18+) | [Complete]

19 : Loving Him

The following chapter contains explicit material intended for an 18+ audience ONLY.

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I had been crying for nearly two hours. It took me a while, but as my anger faded, I realized I had never actually been angry. I was just scared. I let my mom get under my skin, and when she pointed out my greatest insecurities, I freaked out and pushed the only person that truly cared about me right out of my front door. I'm a fucking bitch.

I didn't want Mickey to leave. I didn't have a problem with what he did for a living, I just had a hard time not knowing where I fit in all of it. And I want to fit, because I want to be with him.

I love him.

My hands shake nervously as I stare at my phone, wondering whether I should even try to call him. I start to text him, but change my mind. Then I change my mind right back and type up a message.

Me: I'm so sorry

I stare at the screen, my heart pounding and my eyes still overflowing with tears. The three little dots appear and I hold my breath.

Mickey: I'm sorry too

Me: Please don't leave

I send the message, but realize it had been hours. He may have already gone back to the airport to fly home. That fear overrides my hesitation, so I press the call button. He answers on the third ring. "Hi," he says sadly.

"Hi," I say through my tears. "I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm sorry too, baby."

"You didn't leave did you?" I ask, practically sobbing.

"No, I'm at a coffee shop down the street. Can I come back?"

"Yes! Please come back right now!"

"Okay. I'll be there soon."

♡♡♡

Far too long passes before he knocks on the door hesitantly. I run over and open it, only to his handsome faced marred with a distraught expression. I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing myself against him and he hugs me back tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I cry into his shoulder.

"No, I'm sorry," he says with a broken voice. "I shouldn't have left, that was stupid of me."

I pull his face to mine and I kiss him desperately, fighting the urge to sob as I do so. He places a hand at the back of my head, pulling me closer, and I can tell that he wants to stay. I let my lips separate from his slowly, and then I look at him through my tears. He gives me a sad grin.

I know I need to apologize. Really apologize. I know I need to tell him why I blew up. "We should talk," I say. "Come sit with me?"

He nods. I lead him back over to the chairs because I can't bear to sit where my mother had. I "I'm so sorry I got so mad. Mom got to me and ... I just freaked out." I wipe my cheeks. "I didn't mean anything I said."