The Professional Lover (18+) | [Complete]

31 : Believing Him

A/N: Kids, I am an emotional person, I feel things, I have lived some life. Sometimes that shows up in my stories. This chapter is a little sad, and there is no sex. If that's not why you're here, skip to the next chapter.

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I've been a mess for the past two weeks without Mickey, but that's all my fault. I pushed him when he was most fragile, and he snapped. Now, I was giving him the space he needed until his stress levels could go back down. At least, that's what I think I'm doing.

The fight shouldn't have happened, but it did, and now I was trying to find a way to deal with the truth that was hidden in all that pain. It only took him a day to man up and apologize, but I still felt torn apart by what he said, by what I said, and by what we did in response. In all honesty, I had already forgiven him. I just hadn't forgiven myself yet.

I sit on the bathroom floor, gripping my stomach as I throw up into the toilet. When I feel as if I'm done, I lean back against the bathtub, running a hand over my clammy forehead and into my sweaty hair. Not being with him is making me sick. I can't eat, I can barely sleep other than when the exhaustion catches up with me.

In another moment of weakness, I look at my messages again.

Mickey: I'm sorry for

everything that I said.

I shouldn't have left. I

shouldn't have let you

leave but I was afraid

I would hurt you more

than I already had.

Mickey: Let me make

it up to you. Please.

I'll do anything if you

just come home.

Mickey: Baby, please.

Mickey: You are

everything to me.

Mickey: I love you. I

always will. You 

know that.

Me: I love you too

Mickey: Please 

come home.

Me: I can't yet

Mickey: Please.

"Is it getting worse?" Maggie asks, snapping me back into reality.

I set my phone down and close the lid of the toilet. "Yeah."

My appointment with the OBGYN was three days ago. She insisted on going with me, so now she knows everything. She knows about Emilio, the details of my fight with Mickey, the reason I needed an STD test at the same time as a pregnancy test. Everything. She had been nonjudgmental and so supportive over the past weeks.