Little Girl | L. Hemmings

twentyeight - dream

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Do you ever feel like your mind is in a complete haze? Like your life is just a thrill you love to seek? Or like your life is just a dream you'd wish to stay in?

That's exactly how I felt right now. I don't know if it was because Luke's lips were on me, while his fingers danced on my pale skin, or whether that my brother would arrive home any moment, and could step in on this. But thinking of my brother in a moment like is just plain gross, so I threw him and his silly face to the back of my mind.

      I let out a moan as his fingers traced down my inner thigh, to my knee, then back up. Luke kept doing this movements on repeat, taunting me while he worked his lips from my jaw to my belly button.

     My eyes fluttered shut, as the heat of his breath mingled on my skin, and as the feel of his fingertips touched the edge of my panty lining. I didn't know if I should feel embarrassed however as I realized the underwear I was wearing wasn't the prettiest. Then again I never could have imagined to be in this situation on this very day.

     I crumpled the comforter and sheets under my hands as his fingers neared closer to where I needed him most.

     I've never done this before– which was obvious. I didn't think I even would at this age. If anything I really thought my wedding day would be the day because that meant the guy wouldn't up and leave the first chance he got. I mean he still could but not only would that be embarrassing on the wedding night, but a whole lot of paperwork. Anyway, I was an innocent girl in this field of life, and it's not something I'm ashamed of, I just wish I could be more assertive. Right now, at least I think I'm doing this right. The time would come when I would have to make him feel like he was in heaven, but I was a little grateful he wasn't pushing it.

     Luke hooked his fingers into my blue garments and as soon as he was ready to pull them down, my bedroom door swung open, resulting in a bang from hitting against my wall. The last vision I have in my mind is my brother and mother's face before jolting awake in my bed.

     I take frantic breaths and reach for my phone to check the time. It was five in the morning. I hit my head against the pillows and heaved heavily not only at the fact that it was five in the morning and I had an hour until I head to get up, but at the fact that that was just a dream. Luke above me, peppering kisses all over my skin, was just a figment of my imagination. And now I can't get the Willy Wonka song out of my head.

I have no idea as to what that was. I've never thought like that in my life– okay, maybe only when Luke is involved. But I don't know why my mind would create something like that, that went against everything I am. Before this year, I was the quiet, innocent little girl that steered clear from all things social, you could say. But here I am, with so much drama in my life that not even Bella Thorne could catch up.

Sleep was a no go for me now. I was wide awake, staring at my white ceiling, heart still pounding ferociously in my chest. I also didn't understand why I was acting so antsy, because it was only a dream. Not like it was real life or anything.

Boy do I wish it was. That's enough.

I decided to get up now. Take a nice long shower and maybe even dress really nice today. My warm feet hit the cold floor, sending a shiver down my spine. I moved quickly around my room to grab my clothes I would wear after the shower and head out into the hallway and into the bathroom. I also tried staying quiet, as the rest of my family was still sleeping.

Luke hadn't shown up here in a while. Ever since our date almost a month ago. Sure he's stopped by my job and here once in a while, but I don't think he's slept over since then. Was I a little upset? Yes.