Book One In The Ahh-Ness Of Things Series: April & Donnie were once inseparable, but now almost six years have passed since she left NYC. What if April O'Neil could set the record straight, once & for all! The only girl down enough to chill with the...
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Prologue this!
Against her dresser, that's where we were. Her beautiful hair fell across her back, against me. I was so fascinated with her hair; red hair, white skin. I don't know why I always go back to this time in my mind. Maybe because it was one of the first. Maybe because it felt so new standing there like that, in the darkness, she was all for me in that dim little room under the christmas lights & paper lanterns. After all these years, I could bring that memory back at will. The way she seemed to melt into me, glowing; the motion of her blood rising to the surface made her look as though she was lighting up at my very touch! The sound of her, her breath, her heart beating. The incredible smell of her; like peach & almond & tuberose. It was intoxicating! I was breathing it in as deeply as I could stand, knowing she couldn't access these senses the way I could. There were so many things we didn't know, or expect. I guess it's this way for everyone in the beginning, learning about yourself & eachother. But I'm not human. No matter what ever else I may be in this life.
She's not exactly human either, though. She's more than human, and in those moments I couldn't keep my mind from racing, always knowing that she could walk right into it at will. What did she think of me when I was thinking of her. All of my random thoughts & my inability to ever stop analyzing every little thing. Could she hear me adoring her so in my mind? Could she feel what I felt? See the energy in her veins, through my eyes?
That afternoon was different. Though I couldn't see it in the chill of that windowless bedroom, I could feel the late summer sun setting. The warm breeze & excitement of the city at night above us, coming alive. I felt a confidence I'd never known in myself before in that I didn't mind if she knew how vulnerable she made me feel. I had been so desperately in love with her for so long & I admittedly was not at all mature about it. She was my only love, my best friend; back then we were just kids, & she could equally build me up & tear me down.
I suddenly became aware of my strength & my weight against her. My hand seemed so massive on her waist. I wanted to pull her tightly to me & gently, all at once. I smoothed her hair over her shoulder, it fell like a silk scarf. She was with me! There was nothing else & there was no one else in the universe but me & her. I know I must have looked conflicted. I wasn't, I was proud! She turned to face me & I could have fallen into her hands as she laid them on my face. She kissed me deeply & I lifted her up so we were eye to eye. She was everything in that moment. I knew in an instant she had not been in my head at all. She was as lost in me as I was in her.
All of my insecurities with her had given me this confidence because adolescence was giving way to greater understanding. My weaknesses were only working to make me stronger as I let her see them. She had seen them all up close over the two & a half years we had known eachother. My appearance was the greatest & the hardest to overcome for me because I was nothing like her. Nothing like a human. I couldn't pass for normal if I tried; not like she could. In the beginning, I had frightened her & it broke my heart because she was the most beautiful being I had ever imagined. All of the things I had never dreamed of were possible in her. Now wrapped up in my arms, my hands encompassing her back, she saw me the way I saw her.
It wasn't long after that night , she left for college. My brothers moved on, starting their own lives & some, their own families. I remained. The world above, never knowing I was here; the Sentinel, the fortress gaurd with his lantern in the dark. I loved her endlessly, I never thought of anyone else. How could I? She was as vibrant & full of life as the season she was named for. Over five years have passed. Five years, seven months, & twenty two days. Phone calls & video chats turned into letters. The letters stopped & my work journals turned into a diary. I never stopped missing her. I just try to not be all Phantom of the Opera about it. I think it's time to move on. It's just bittersweet memories; when it was like that with her, that keeps me wondering how it could've all been different. What use have I really been since? I could have had a normal life. Love, a family, the one I want. Then I think of the time we were against her dresser, my face in her hair, the way she looked at me, & how nothing else mattered except I knew she would always think about it when I did. She had left me with that.
