Through the Dark

Chapter 20: To Wake

He looked around, and Harry saw a house. It had a small lawn in front, and it felt vaguely familiar, like some kind of déjà vu. But Harry knew it isn't. Where was he?

He was sure he's never been here before.

Until she appeared. Flaming red hair that reached past her shoulders and ended on her waist. She smelled divine, like a flower. She held a hand to him and he looked at her. She smiled, "Hello, son."

It hit Harry.

His mum. Lily, with her verdant green, green eyes, so much like his own. He can almost touch her, but she ended up hugging him instead. "You're okay. You're fine. Oh, my baby, baby boy."

He blushed, but looked up at her anyway. She looked like a doll, a porcelain doll. "Yeah," was his own answer.

"Sev- oh dear, Ezra now, wasn't it?"

Harry gulped and felt a lone tear escaping his eye. Ezra. Ezra, Ezra, Ezra. He had hurted him.

"Ah, an argument?" She gave him an understanding, gentle look, "You have to be more patient with each other, Harry."

He looked away. He can't look at her. He was horrible. He was simply, utterly horrible to Ezra. "I didn't know, Mum. I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I didn't know. I don't know. His words just...made me snap. He called Dad and Sirius arrogant. Lazy. Is he even allowed to do that?!"

It was a childish question, but Harry wanted to understand. He wanted to know why Severus called the two most important men-- no. Harry's eyes widened in realization. If someone else would've said the same words; sure, Harry would feel bad, even quite insulted. But the fact that it was Ezra who had said those words...the pain escalated. He wanted Ezra to accept the people he loved and who were part of him, too. He wanted Snape to accept them, because it means Snape accepts him, too. The whole of him.

Because that's what he'll do for Snape. He'll accept him, even if he is the Dark Lord himself. Harry looks up to Snape, he values Snape, he...he wants to be a part of Snape. He loves Snape like Dad.

"He just needs love Harry, like you, and me. All of us need an amount of love. I once was the love he has, but perhaps, I did not give him enough. I wasn't enough to take him out of the Dark."

"And," Harry asks, tears still falling, "Am I enough for him, Mum? Am I enough to get him through the Dark he was so delved deep in?"

Lily smiled, "You have always doubted yourself, Harry. You never have any idea how much you affect people, don't you, my child? It is your gentle and kind heart that draws people, and you to them. Don't you know, Harry?"

"What is it, Mum?"

"I believe you may be Severus' Saviour yet."

Harry laughed bitterly. Yeah right. Ezra's Saviour. He believes it is the other way around.

"And he is yours. He is your Saviour, Harry. Now, answer me truthfully, child," Lily looks at her son with sincerity, with intensity, "Do you need Severus?"

"Yes." There was no question about that. He felt utmost safety with the man. "But does he even need me in his life, Mum? It doesn't matter to me if he leaves me, Mum. As long as it is best for him."

Lily smiled at her boy. Harry may be young, but he was not selfish, "Such selfless love, Harry. I admire you. You never seem to tire out of love."

Harry smiled wistfully, "Love is beautiful, Mum."

"It most definitely is. Oh dear," she exclaims, "I feel my time with you is near. I leave you thus with this, Harry. Listen to this," she says, her hand ghosting over Harry's heart, "Listen to your heart. It will never have you astray. Radiate, my darling. There is nothing wrong with risking. Listen with your heart. Do everything with it."