Oh My...

38.) Goodbye

On my last day in Detroit, I decided it was time to pay Marshall's house a visit.

We hadn't seen each other since our initial blowout, but I knew I had to say goodbye. Even though I didn't want to, as seeing him would be visiting the awful words he said, I wouldn't forgive myself if I left without closure.

A thin blanket of frost covered the play equipment that sat on his front yard. I stepped to the front door, leaving a track in the snow behind me. I knocked twice on the door, and almost immediately Debbie Mathers answered. Though we hadn't seen each other since my first few days here, she hadn't change much. Same hair, same makeup, I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that she was wearing the same outfit as well.

Debbie rose a thin eyebrow at me and took a long drag of her cigarette. "Ally?"

"Alex." I corrected, smiling politely. "Is Marshall home?" I glanced at the empty living room behind her, where a TV blared a commercial about divorce lawyers.

She took another drag of her cigarette. "He went out with Kim an hour ago. I can tell him you stopped by." She must of noticed the disappointment on my face, because she frowned and asked, "Was he expecting you?"

"No, I'm just moving back to New York and I wanted to say goodbye." I bit my lip and looked down. "Is there any chance you know where they went?" I asked desperately.

Debbie stared down at me with eyes full of pity. "I know his shift at Little Caesars starts in a half hour. They sometimes go there to eat before he has to work."

I smiled at her gratefully. "Thank you so much."

"It was nice to meet you, Alex. You're a good kid."

My heart throbbed, but in a good way; it left me feeling happy about myself. I grinned at her for a moment before leaving the property to go find Marshall.

It started to snow again while I walked, and my lousy windbreaker did nothing to protect me from the racing wind. My hair flew behind me, making a mess of my bangs and left me looking like I stuck my head out an airplane window. The makeup I put on to try and make myself a bit more attractive and hide the fact that I hadn't slept the entire three days I spent at the hospital backfired and ran down my cheeks in messy black tears.

It was almost comical when I entered the chain-restaurant and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me like I had two heads. I put my head down and tried my best to fix my hair and wipe away the black streaks on my face. In the back corner sitting at a red booth, I saw Marshall with his head in his hands and Kim gazing at me with distaste.

I timidly approached them. "Um, hi."

"This isn't happening right now." Marshall groaned.

Kim scanned me up and down. "Got caught in the storm?" She guessed.

I was surprised that she hadn't started with jumping at my throat. I guess she forgot when I hit her in the face with a shopping bag. Not wanting to test the waters, I nodded and smiled at her. "Can you tell?"

She laughed. "Slightly."

Marshall dropped his hands on the counter and glared at me. "What are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath. "Can I talk to you?"

"I'm with someone."

"It'll just be five minutes."

"I'm with someone."

"I'm moving back to Brooklyn."

For a moment, Marshall was stunned. He stood up and looked at Kim apologetically. "I have to-"

"No, don't worry about it. I understand." I didn't like how upbeat her voice sounded, but I made nothing of it. I led Marshall to the front door and sat down at the first table to the left.

He sat down across from me. "Tell me your joking."

I forced a smile. "It's best for the both of us."

"Alex, what are you talking about? Look, if this is about last week I-"

"It's not just that." I rushed in, tears pricking my eyes. "I need to leave. I can't..." I trailed off.

Marshall glared at me. "What's Brooklyn got that Detroit doesn't? You don't need to go back to where your addiction started, you need to go to rehab-"

"I need to see my mom." My voice broke mid sentence. "I'm scared, Marshall. I'm go fucking scared..."

"Of what? You're not making any sense."

His cold expression broke into a look of pain. It made everything worse. I buried my face in my palms and tried to control my breathing. "I can't fucking do this shit, I'm desperate."

"What are you talking about? If this is about drugs, then we can-"

My hands fell to my lap, and I stared at him pathetically; tears distorting my vision and burning my eyes, sniffling back the urge to whimper like a child. "I really can't be here anymore, man."

"Why? Tell me why."

"I just can't."

Marshall shot up in a fit of rage. "This is bullshit. You're just doing this for attention, aren't you?"

I gasped. "What?!"

"Are you high? You're high, aren't you? Goddammit, I can't even believe a word you're saying. Fuck you, Alex."

My words were caught in my throat, and all I could do was watch him with my mouth ajar.

He sneered at me with bloodshot eyes that glowed with tears. "Leave me alone, Alex. Forever."

Marshall marched back to Kim, who appeared  incredibly satisfied. She smiled briefly at me before replacing it was a look of faux sympathy.

Her expression left a bad taste in my mouth. I stood up weakly, and feeling like I was just torn to shreds, walked back outside into the storm.