Sharing Corrie

Chapter Thirty One

 Corrie closed the door to her room and leaned against it, drawing in a deep breath. Too much had happened in the past few days for her to comprehend: She had agreed to marry Edwin, faced his false accusations, watched him storm away from her, and was now left to await his verdict. She was completely at the mercy of the man she once thought she knew.

How unfair it was, she pondered, that she was always at the mercy of men. Until she moved to New York on her own, she had been at the mercy of her father. In New York, she was at the mercy of her professors, and even now, she was awaiting a man to determine her fate. Despite this rebellious, newfangled thought, Corrie still felt the familiar tug of duty that had led her to make most of the major decisions in her life. Duty had demanded that she wait until Christina was older to leave for school. Duty had demanded she return at the blink of an eye to care for her sister. Duty demanded she support her father even though she disagreed with everything he stood for. Duty demanded she stay by Edwin's side even though he had treated her like nothing more than a pretty doll.

Corrie curled up on her bed, pulling a pillow against her. A weight rested on her chest, compressing her until she felt scarcely able to breathe. She was stuck at an unsurpassable impasse. Her heart demanded that she break free of Edwin's possessive, maniacal hold over her, but pragmatism told her she would be ostracized and branded as a harlot. She would lose any chance of marrying again and could never return to her university except in incomparable shame.

The alternative was no more attractive. If she agreed to marry Edwin, she would no doubt be forced to relocate to New York City. She may be able to finish her degree, but she would remain distanced from her family and never speak to Dr. Benjamin again. She would be Edwin's paramour, displayed for all to see but none to hear.

As Corrie entertained her two choices in her head, she felt as if she were running in circles inside of a maze, unable to escape. Her heart was conflicted between duty and desire yet both led to destruction. Corrie opened her journal and began to write, pouring every emotion she felt until the pages ran with ink. She may not reach a consensus, but she could at least confess her own turmoil.

~~~~~

"Cornelia!"

A fist banged against the door. The voice screeched at her, and Corrie lifted her head from where it rested on the bed. Her journal was splayed before her, and ink stained her right hand where it had fallen lifeless on the wet pages. Corrie sat up and winced, her body stiff and sore. Her hair had come unpinned and fell across her face, and she brushed it aside with her clean hand.

"Cornelia Walker, you open the door this instance!"

Corrie recognized the voice as her mother's and groaned, closing her journal and stumbling to the door. She had fallen asleep and lost all track of time, but by now the entire town must be aware that Edwin had departed and left Corrie in disgrace.

With a grunt, Corrie opened the door and stared into the face of an irate, befuddled Anita. Anita's face was blotchy and she stormed into the room, shoving Corrie aside with her shoulder.

"What in the name of all that is holy is going on?" Anita demanded, turning on her heel to glare needles at her daughter. "Edwin left town in a tirade. Is the engagement off? What have you done?"

Corrie wilted under the harsh onslaught. What have I done? Of course the blame had fallen wholly on her; far be it from anyone to doubt Edwin, wealthy, generous, kind Edwin. He could do no wrong.

"I...I didn't do anything," Corrie murmured, her voice cracked.

She felt the weight return to her chest and she slumped to a seat on the bed and leaned against her hands, her fingers massaging her temples. She couldn't bear any more judgment; no one knew what was really going on, yet everyone was quick to pass censure.