Sharing Corrie

Chapter Forty

Dr. Benjamin,

I hope this letter finds both you and your sister well. I am delighted to inform you of several pieces of good news. First, Christina grows better by the day. I am confident she will be healthy soon. Second, I am pleased to announce that I will be returning to New York City in the spring, assuming Christina's recovery, to assume a new position as a governess.

Kind regards,

Cornelia Walker

With a flourish, Corrie signed her name and placed the letter in an envelope, her fingers trembling as she sealed it. She knew not what else could be done to discourage his advances. She knew not how else she could protect herself and give him the life that he deserved.

Heart pounding, Corrie found her aunt who was preparing dinner and thrust the letter onto the table. "Aunt Elisabet, will you mail this?" Corrie asked.

Elisabet tsked and examined the letter. "Well, that was a quick reply! Of course I'll send it. Are you going to invite the young man to dinner since you're been exchanging so many letters?"

"I don't think we'll be corresponding for much longer," Corrie answered, trying to smile though her heart still pounded. "Please send this right away.

Leaving Irvington would be leaving behind any chance with Dr. Benjamin. She would refuse to write to him and only visit Christina on holidays. A clean break was the only way for her to attempt a second chance at life, even if that life was as a governess. An end to even their friendship was necessary, and this letter sealed the end like a period finished a sentence.

Aunt Elisabet was still watching Corrie, her green eyes lingering on Corrie's downcast face. "I'll make sure to send it this evening if that's what you want."

If that's what you want. What did Corrie truly want? Did she dare to consider the answer? Did it even matter? For so long, she had only wanted to be a poet, yet her attempts at pursuing that dream had ended with the genesis of the war. Now, she was terrified to consider her desires. She did not have the luxury of entertaining such fancies; she would have to be content with working as a governess for the sake of her independence.

Once this letter was sent, Corrie knew she could never rescind her words. The end would be irrevocable once Dr. Benjamin read the missive. For a moment, Corrie imagined his face reading the letter and it was too much to bear. She ran from the kitchen up the stairs of her aunt's house and pushed open the door to the widow's walk. Christina and Jack had already gone inside, so Corrie found herself gloriously alone.

Corrie's heart was beating too fast and she struggled to draw in a full breath; she felt as if she had been spinning in circles. She stumbled to her knees, holding on to the pickets of the railing. Her shoulders started to shake beyond her control and she pressed a hand to her mouth as sobs threatened to explode.

What have I done?

"Corrie?" The tender, familiar voice sounded miles away. "Corrie, what's going on?"

"Please," Corrie whispered, her voice choked. "Leave me alone."

Instead, she felt soft, small hands stroking her back. "Oh, Corrie," Christina murmured. "What has happened?"

"What have I done?" Corrie asked herself.

"Corrie, what happened?" Jack demanded from her other side, voice astringent.

"I...I told Dr. Benjamin that I'm moving back to New York," Corrie answered, furiously dashing away the tears that ran from her eyes. "Please, leave me alone. I'm fine."