Sharing Corrie

Chapter Forty One

Corrie leapt to her feet and spun around. She knew those words; she knew that voice even before she caught sight of him. Dr. Benjamin stood before her in the flesh as if her constant thoughts of him had summoned a phantasm before her eyes. But no; he was real, he was standing before her, and he had not read the letter.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Corrie asked.

He offered her his boyish smile, raking a hand through his hair. "I...I'm sorry if I startled you."
These were the very words he had said when they first met; how had he remembered? To Corrie, it felt as if they were reliving the day they'd met, but so much had happened since then. How could they go back?

"May I...I need to speak with you." His eyes glanced to his fidgeting hands and then returned to her. "Oh dear, you're cold," he said, following the trail of goosebumps up her forearm. "Here."

He quickly slipped off his suit jacket and stepped around her to cover her shoulders. Corrie shuddered at his touch and pulled the jacket tightly around her.

"Thank you," she murmured, looking at the ground where her toes wriggled in the sand. He was so near that he stole her power to repel him. "Why are you here?" she asked again. "To check on Christina?"

"No, I...I mean yes, of course I want to check on Christina, but I came to see you. I sent you a letter--have you received it?" When she looked up at him and nodded, he continued, "I sent you that letter and I knew I should have said it...I should have told you in person." For a moment, neither could stare the other in the eye. Corrie bit her lip until it bled, aching for his confession but dreading it as well. "So I came here, right away. I had to tell you...I have to tell you."

Corrie could no longer keep her eyes on the ground; they flew to his, wide and bright and blue against the black of night. He stepped closer until she could see the cloud of fog his breath created between them.

"I...I refused to allow myself to hope for months. You were courting Edwin, happily I presumed, and I wouldn't allow myself to interfere. I told myself that my feelings were not real, that they were passing fancies, but then...we had so much in common, you see, and I just couldn't dismiss how I felt." Dr. Benjamin began to pace in front of Corrie, and though she pulled his jacket closer around her shoulders, she couldn't help but tremble. "And then Edwin visited and I saw what an arrogant imbecile he was. He had no idea how fortunate he was, yet he acted as if you were the lucky one. I longed to say something, to ask how you could love a man like that. But you didn't love him, did you?" the doctor asked, turning on his heel to gaze at her.

Corrie felt the blood drain from her face as she shook her head. "I never loved him," she whispered.

"And then he accused you of horrible things as if he didn't even know you. In all the months of you and I working together, even when I was more forward than I should have been, you were beyond reproach...you were perfect!" Dr. Benjamin exclaimed. Both hands were knotted in his hair and he leaned his head back to stare at the sky. "Then he was gone, and you were not engaged, and I was more terrified than I've ever been in my life. Ever. I was terrified you wouldn't want me."

Corrie felt a shiver go down her back. Hadn't she had the very same thought? That he would no longer be interested in her because of her newly destroyed reputation? How wrong they both had been.

"But you've heard what they say about me," Corrie said.

"None of it ever mattered to me. I knew who you were, and that was the only thing that mattered. When Jack was in the factory fire, I went back to the hospital early to check on the soldiers, and your notebook was open." Corrie felt her blood run cold. "I shouldn't have...I'm sorry, I picked it up to close it, but then I saw that line, the one from the poem I showed you in the very beginning."

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick," Corrie murmured before he could say it.

"Do you remember the rest?" Dr. Benjamin asked, stepping closer to her. "'Yet this hope floods me again and again as if around him, it is always spring.' I didn't know--I didn't dare hope--before that moment."

"You shouldn't-"

"I was a coward," he exclaimed. "I should have told you how I felt earlier. I tried." He reached into his vest and displayed a worn leather journal. "When we went into Richmond that day to purchase a journal for you, I bought one for myself. I tried to write down what I was feeling, but you're a far better poet than I will ever be." He fanned through the journal, showing page after page filled with uneven scrawls. "I filled this entire journal with the beginnings of poems, but I could never finish them."

He slipped the journal back inside his vest and reached for Corrie's hands where they tangled in front of her and lifted them in his own. For a moment, Corrie's hands burned in his. They had never touched like this, never intentionally, only fleeting, longing touches.

"Miss Walker--Corrie--I can't remain quiet. I can't pretend I don't feel what I do, and hope demands that I express my feelings. If you don't...if I allowed my heart to hope without reason, well, at least I've tried."

For a moment, Corrie pondered why the desire to flee had vanished; it had been replaced by something that pulled her closer to him, nearer, beyond what safety or prudence dictated. Dr. Benjamin looked from her eyes down to their intertwined hands and Corrie felt warmth surge inside of her chest. When he glanced back at her, his eyes were wide but determined. Hope.

"Corrie, I...I love you. I don't know when, I don't know how, but my journal will tell you the countless reasons why. You...you're the most selfless person I know. You've given up so much already, and I know your loyalties belong to your family and friends and poetry. I will always respect that. If you'll have me, I will share everything but your heart. Please, Corrie. If you reciprocate any of these feelings, please tell me that I'm not alone in this."

Though time and time again Corrie had deterred her own happiness for the sake of duty or practicality, every excuse vanished when she looked up at him. There was no choice but one.

"You're not alone," she answered, voice shivering.

Goosebumps erupted on her skin as he took her left hand and bent onto one knee in the sand. "Then marry me, Corrie. I don't care what they say about you, and I swear to you I will never keep you from your family or your dreams."

Duty. Dreams. Desires. Suddenly, Corrie realized that these three seemingly disparate things were all possible with Dr. Benjamin, with Alex.

"Yes," Corrie said, starting to laugh with the sheer joy of it. "Yes, I'll marry you."

"Really?" Dr. Benjamin exclaimed, a foolish grin on his face.

"Yes," Corrie said again, and for the first time in months, perhaps years, she truly smiled.

Dr. Benjamin fished in the pocket of his vest, producing a beautiful silver ring with a diamond at the center. He took her left hand and gently slid the ring onto her third finger. Corrie barely glanced at the ring as she stared at him, wondering how she had been so blind as not to see the future waiting right in front of her.

He leapt to his feet and lifted her into the air, spinning her in a circle until they became one. When he set her down, she stared up at him with only inches between their faces.

"Alex?" She tasted his name like it was the sweetest delicacy while he smiled at her, eyes forming crescent moons. "Alex, I love you."

Alex reached for her tentatively, his thumb skimming her jaw as he pulled her face towards him, and in one soft, moon-washed moment, he kissed her. It lasted but a second of bliss, and then Corrie started to laugh again, wrapping her arms around him and leaning against his chest. 

~~~~~

I'm squealing right now. They're so freaking cute! And it's about time they got their happy ending :) There are a few final chapters left, but this journey's almost over. Thanks for reading and voting and commenting on this story. You're all fantastic.

~ Hannah