finding her voice

(3) Introducing Carter (FYI I hate him)

The song above is 'Sorry Not Sorry' by Demi Lovato. I thought it would go good in this chapter, representing how Lila was finally trying to make an effort to stick up for herself and not be the doormat she once allowed herself to be, for others to stomp on. She was finally going to be heard and I thought that Lovato's song had a similar theme to it as this chapter did: I will not apologize for who I am. I will apologize when I have done wrong, but I will never apologize for being who I am.

Anyway, happy reading! Hope y'all enjoy!! 🤗

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Chapter 3

Introducing Carter (FYI I Hate Him)

"I want a kiss." He leans in a little. Shock makes its way onto his face, as he registers my newly colored hair. He recovers after a second and begins to touch my hair. He studies it carefully in the palm of his (surprisingly gentle), hand, almost like he's afraid my hair will change if he takes his eyes off of it for even a second. "Did you dye your hair purple?" He smirks his famous smirk. Finally, He looks down at me. No, I died it green. Men are idiots. I comment to myself. I roll my eyes at Carter and smack his hand away.

Carter stumbles back from where he stood on the porch steps, but catches himself before he falls onto the pavement. I unconsciously release a breath of relief. Okay. I don't want him to get hurt. So, what? Big deal. I shake off the gnawing feeling of caring for Carter (Gag). He was taken aback by my swatting his hand from off my hair, not used to my newfound confidence. Yep, Carter. That's right. I am not going to take you're bull anymore! You better get used to it. I thought to myself, as I crossed my arms over my chest. His eyes glanced up at my boobs, as I had brought (unintentional), attention to my girlies.

He looked back at my eyes almost immediately and cleared his throat. A blush was beginning to creep up on top of his (suddenly pale), cheeks. Was Carter getting nervous? I thought to myself, with sudden peaking interest. Well, this was a satisfying change. Usually it was the other way around. I was the nervous one and he was always the cocky, over-confident, jerk. It felt good to be on the other side of things. I acknowledged to myself.

"It looks nice." Carter says softly. I give him a confused look. "Your hair." He elaborates, gesturing to my hair. He sounded so genuine. Like, The Carter Daniels was actually giving me a compliment. He laughs out of his own nervousness.

Okay, I had enough of the 'shy' Carter. I wanted the Carter I knew. The 'cocky' Carter. Even if I did despise him, I did not want to make him feel uncomfortable. We had to see each other almost on a day-to-day basis and if that was happening, we should both be ourselves. We didn't have to like each other and we could ignore each other as much as we wanted, but it was better than one of us always being nervous of the other one's existence.

I eyed Carter, slyly. He was unsure of himself and so awkward. It was almost painful to watch. He was waiting for my brother to lighten up the atmosphere like he usually had done. I suddenly remembered that Carter had complimented my hair. He was trying to make an effort, so I decided to break the ice. "Thanks for the compliment." I said, softly. Being nice to him was weird, I noted. I had to think of something before Kevin interrupts us in order to break the weird 'nice' vibe we had going. We would not make that a thing. We hated each other and as a result of that, we were never willingly nice to each other before. I'd ignore him and he'd mess with me all because he knew I hated it.

That's it! I thought to myself, as I thought of the perfect way to break the newly found tension between the two of us. I walked to where Carter was, which was the pavement, just before the step to the porch to my house began, making him (once again), taller than me. Sadness. He looked down at me suspiciously. He knew I was up to something, but he did not call me out on it and he did not move from where he stood. I casually began to lean into him. We were so close to the other that I could feel his breath begin to hitch and his heart start to race. We hadn't been this close to each other since he comforted me after Diana had thrown a rock at the assumed 'nerd'. I shook off that memory as I continued with my plan. "Do you still want that kiss?" I whispered, seductively. I looked up at his lips and gently ran my tongue against the edge of my bottom lip, almost like I could not contain myself from putting my lips on top of Carters. As if! I was willing myself not to laugh as we speak, but he didn't have to know that. Carter was frozen in place, disbelieving my actions. I guess he wasn't expecting me to tease him back. I couldn't help myself. It's not something I'd usually do, but it was all just too tempting. Plus, he'd flirted aimlessly with me a million times before. Time he got a taste of his own medicine, if you asked me.