finding her voice

(9) New Information And Tiring People

  Chapter 9

New information and Tiring People

"Okay... And I'm straight. Tell me something I don't know." I say like it's no big deal. Maybe because it honestly isn't. I think I've always known, subconsciously in the back of my mind that he was always gay. He was just never... like all the other boys in his grade. He only had Rj who he talked about like twenty-four seven by the way. So how wouldn't I know? How couldn't I know when it was just so obvious? And the fact that I snoop through his journal every now and then? That was the big secret? Wow, that was kind of a let down if I do say so myself.

"Huh?" He asked, bewildered and with a shocked expression taking up his face, along with confusion. Yeah, I know you, little brother. So, shocking. How can I not? I mean we live together and you're the only boy in the universe who owns a diary.

"One, I know everything. Two, I have eyes everywhere. Three, I have ears like a cat. Four, you have a better fashion sense than me. Five, you only have one friend, RJ and you constantly fangirl over him. Six, you never fit in with the other boys in your grade." And you own a frigging diary! I said to myself. "Also, if those bullies come near you again for some petty reason that is just you, then you better tell me! Got it?" I asked him, in the best threatening voice I can manage.

He chuckles softly, "I love you, sis." He tells me with a genuine smile on his face and I can't help but smile back.

"I love you too. Now, have you told anyone else about this?" I ask, almost instantly. A bit worried that he did. Cause if he did, what if he confided in the wrong person and word gets out when he's not ready for it to get out? I hope it doesn't, for his sake.

"Well-" Angus starts to talk but then gets interrupted.

"Hey, people." 'Basically, the devil' is in my room, in the hospital. He has the worst timing. Why is he even here? "Hey, get any guy's yet?" He asked Angus. Huh? Why would he ask him that? Does he know? Oh, great, he confided in the wrong person. The one thing I was afraid of! He's doomed now. He might as well just move to New Zealand until he's ready to start facing the music which could be years. I wish everyone would just realize that it doesn't matter what gender you like. It doesn't matter what race you are or what gender you are. We are all the same and deserve to be given a chance until proven wrong. But, sadly that isn't the way things go and people judge you harshly. Sometimes you aren't given the chance. You are judged from the day you are born into this world. It's not because you did anything wrong, it's just because there are cruel, judgy people in this world who can't accept you for who you are. And sadly that is just the way things are.

"You told him?! Of all people? Him? 'Basically the devil?'" I point to him frantically, while my voice is only a whisper. Since I can still barely talk.

"Huh!" Carter, exclaimed, putting a hand over his heart like the drama queen he is. "I am truly offended, Lila!" He said as if it was the worst thing I could possibly ever say to him. It isn't. I can think of a lot better insults at the top of my head, and I could say them at any moment, so if I was him, I'd watch out.

"Oh, save the dramatics for someone who cares," I told Carter, then moved my attention onto Angus. "Explain why you would tell this buffoon," I said looking at Carter and waved a hand towards him to enhance my point. "Your secret, instead of your dear sister that you tell everything too," I said, in a sultry, sweet tone. I placed my hand on my heart, feigning innocence. "Even when I beg you not to tell me things, you do. This time I'm begging you too. Why. Did. You. Tell. Him?" I asked. I took up that scary voice, where I pause after each and every word.

"He saw the bullies, bullying me a few weeks ago and so I confided in him," Angus told me. What? How? I need more answers than that, people!

"Yeah, it was not a pretty sight." Carter had said, gaining my attention to him. "Just be glad I was there and saved his butt because he would have gotten more of a punch that time if I didn't." Carter continued, speaking up and all fooling disappeared from his voice and was replaced with a serious tone. I never thought Carter was capable of such a thing like actually being serious. It turns out, 'the Carter' could take things seriously for once in his life. It was another miracle!